Freedom to Love

July 27, 2011

Click here to listen to today’s Daily Power Prayer for Freedom to Love:

I used to try to manage, manipulate and control every part of my life.  So often I invested my precious energy in keeping score.  I was always concerned with whether or not I was giving too little or too much.  Often I would over-give so that I could feel superior and feed the ego.  I would refuse to receive so that I could manipulate others – more ego feeding.  It was so labor-intensive.  That behavior that fed the ego, that score-keeping mind-set literally sucked the life out of my life.  I NEVER felt free.  I was always creating limitations and then enforcing them.  Phew!  It was exhausting and it wasn’t any fun at all.  I let fear based thinking driving my life for SO long.  I’m glad that’s over!

And that’s why I feel so grateful every day now.  I learned that everything I receive comes from the one and only source – Divine Love.  All that I give I give to God.  So, I’m always in balance now.  I don’t believe in withholding anymore.  I love to give and I never concern myself with over-giving because I no longer give as a way of provoking someone to give back to me.  I share.  I share because I am in the flow and because God gives me so much I can share joyfully.

That’s why it was so much fun, even though it was a lot of work, to put on the Living A Course in Miracles Class.  I got to share from the overflow of wisdom that is fully available all of the time.

I finally have a strong sense of what freedom means.  At 6:25 this morning, just as I was walking out the door to go to my morning exercise class, I spilled a cup of tea all over my desk and it poured onto the carpet.  I had just had the carpet steam cleaned about 10 days ago.  I had to laugh as I went to get a towel to clean up the mess.  I literally smiled and laughed.  I had to clean up the mess (which made me 20 minutes late to class) and it might stain the carpet, and, of course, my tea was now a thing of the past as well – and yet, I wasn’t bothered.  I was smiling and laughing.

Years ago, I would have been upset.  I would have been angry that I’d made a mistake.  Fearful that I’d ruined the carpet, pissed off that I was missing part of my class.  I might easily have completely ruined my own day without thinking twice.  I would have told my tale of woe to everyone I met all day, inviting them to commiserate with me that “life is hard and then you die.”  I would have reinforced the problem all day until I finally succumbed to some form of self-medication to dull the pain I created for myself.  Of course, the self-medication would actually intensify my suffering, but I wouldn’t have to deal with that until later.  UGH!

I think that these things happen to me sometimes just so I can be SOOOOOOOO grateful that I’ve changed my mind and my freedom is permanent.  It’s not circumstantial.  I AM aligned with Love and I know it.  I shall not be moved – for real!  This is evidence of true and lasting healing and I am so grateful to be grateful today!  I have the freedom to LOVE right now, no matter what and I know it!  Ka-ching, baby!!!

THAT FREEDOM is the result of my spiritual practice.  I didn’t get that from listening to someone else talk.  I didn’t get it from a book.  I didn’t get it from a retreat or a seminar or attending services at Agape.  It came from my willingness to do my own healing.  I thank GOD for the miraculous healing that is always available as soon as I am willing to allow it!  Bring it!

I AM free to love and I know it!

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Tags

A Course in Miracles, ACIM, How to forgive, Jennifer Hadley, Living A Course in Miracles, Spiritual classes


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