As a seeker of truth, I am constantly listening to my own thoughts. Throughout my days I am frequently examining my choices and my motivations. I’m holding my thoughts, and my actions up to the light and looking for the old B.S. (Belief System). When I first began my practice of deep listening, I have come to recognize that the bottom line is my intention. I noticed that people felt my intention more than they hear my words or observed my actions. I came to realize that every single time I camouflage my unloving intention with loving words I was found out. I could see it in the eyes of the person I was speaking with. I could literally feel it in their energy.
Back then, I admit it–in this constant examination of my own consciousness I wasn’t always kind. I’ve learned to be patient and compassionate with myself. In fact, I was frequently listening to my thoughts and being critical of myself for not being more loving. And, of course, I also saw that in being self-critical about not being more loving I was being even more unloving. Ugh. I could run, but I couldn’t hide. This is how I learned that the judger always feels judged and the lover always feels loved.
“We have what we seek. It is there all the time, and if we give it time it will make itself known to us,” says Thomas Merton. Seek and ye shall find. Listen with ears to hear and you will hear.
Today, I take a deep breath and remember that my practice of deep listening is about being aware: incredibly, wonderfully, lovingly aware. It’s not about being critical. It’s about being awake. Without judgment. What’s the difference between discernment and judgment? Love. My loving intention has a force far greater than my words or my actions. How do I maintain a loving intention? Practice. Surrender.
Today I practice nonviolence by listening deeply with love to those that I meet and to most of all to myself. Peace begins with me.