There was a time in my life when the gift of humanness wasn’t precious to me. I resented the limitations and requirements of being human. Managing emotions, obsessions and compulsions felt like an exhausting and unfulfilling loop. It felt so hard I wondered if it was worth it. More than once I didn’t think I wanted to continue to participate.
Along the path I discovered that I’m a spiritual being too. Little by little I awoke and found the joy that was inherent in being an emanation of the Divine. At first the joy came in waves that were blinding, but also edged with sadness. I cried many a joyful tear. They were the tears that come from releasing sadness long carried. Sadness from the time when I thought I’d always feel trapped. Sadness from thinking I’d never find the joy of aligning with my purpose.
I found the unconditional joy of the Divine through making it a practice to count my blessings. When I started, just noticing that I could smell the ocean in the breeze would make me feel so blessed I’d cry salty tears. I counted my blessings until I felt that everything is a blessing, until I saw that everything is God loving me. And I do mean everything. I became grateful to be having a human experience.
In his book 40 Day Mind Fast Soul Feast, Dr. Michael Beckwith teaches us, “When you consciously choose to express thanksgiving, this sets causation into motion to manifest your destiny of wholeness in every expression of your life. Gratitude generates enthusiasm, the fuel on the spiritual path that propels us Godward.”
How grateful I am that although the sunrise is fleeting the pink light in the clouds is there for a moment of glory I can enjoy. The mango I had for breakfast was sweet and fragrant. My unkind neighbor gave me the opportunity to remember what Jesus taught. I felt burdened by the 10,000 things and not enough time, but went to yoga anyway. My mind quieted. I prayed. I sweated. I went to the grocery and bought a beautiful orchid to sit beside me. I thanked heaven for the 10,000 things. Today my practice is to be grateful for everything. All of life is my teacher and I am a student eager to remember the Truth that sets me free.