People Pleasing is a Block to Intimacy!

February 3, 2013

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I’m here on the big island of Hawaii where David Hoffmeister and I are leading a week-long retreat that begins tomorrow. Participants have been arriving for a couple of days and we’re having the most expansive conversations. It’s wonderful.

Yesterday at lunch some of us we’re talking about “people pleasing.” It’s such a great topic. So often we do things to please people, and to make or keep them happy so that we can improve our relationships – and all it does is backfire on us!

Why does people pleasing backfire on us?

Because it’s a form of manipulation.
People pleasing is actually what I call “giving to get.”

Whenever you’re giving to get in your relationship then you are trying to control and manipulate someone. Is that loving? Of course not.

Do you know anyone who is actively interested in finding a partner who would like to be controlled and manipulated in exchange for affection and care? Isn’t that complete and total co-dependency?

Giving to get blocks the flow of Love.
Giving to get is an illusion the illusion – it’s an illusion of Love, but it’s not Love.

Real Love is about being Real. There’s no manipulation needed. It’s a deep practice and it’s profoundly transformational and healing. Once you get the hang of it, you’ll be so grateful you decided to get REAL!

Speaking of “getting real” – I’ve got two calls of myself and the Masterful Living participants getting real and sharing their experiences, what they learned and why Masterful Living Course has been so valuable to them. If you’ve been on the fence you can register to download or replay both of these calls – click here now to get the free download replay!

People are still joining our group and the miracles already started flowing – check it out now!


A Course in Miracles, ACIM, How to forgive, Jennifer Hadley, Living A Course in Miracles, Spiritual classes

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