Are you feeling it? Are you feeling the challenge of old EGO PATTERNS coming up to be healed? It can be very intense. Believe me, I know! I often felt like I was in a battle for my life. And, in Truth, I really was. Having gone through the worst part of the storm, and seeming to be on the other side, please allow me to share with you.
My experience of doing this work – once I really made up my mind to heal was EXCRUTIATING. I was brought to my knees SO MANY times.
I felt so ANGRY. I felt OVERWHELMED. I felt DESPAIR. I felt RAGE. I felt HOPELESSNESS. I felt IMPOSSIBILITY. I felt LOST. I felt CONFUSED. I felt ASHAMED.
Now, I can tell you that all of that INTENSE FEELING was EVIDENCE that I was undoing the ego. IT WAS WORKING! The only thing is, I didn’t have anyone to tell me that. I just felt crazy and desperate and mostly alone.
And yet, I REFUSED to give up. That was my saving GRACE. I was sick and tired of feeling sick and tired.
The worst parts of it came just as I was finishing Ministerial School and beginning my ministry. Imagine, here I am starting out as a Minister and I’m feeling like there’s a tornado blowing through me. Nothing felt stable and secure. And it all started when I began to really deepen my practice.
It seemed as though the more devoted I became to BEING loving, compassionate and non-judgmental, the harder everything was pressing against me. I began to realize that this was the pressure that turns the lump of jet black coal into a brilliant diamond, clear, pristine, and luminous!
The one thing I decided for certain was that I wasn’t giving up.
I was determined to learn to be dedicated and devoted to choosing Love, even if it killed me!
I became devoted to finding the pathway of Love in my own awareness, even though I barely felt like I had a 4 watt bulb trying to illuminate a path in the pitch black.
I had that little bit of willingness, like a little spark.
Even though I felt like I was trying to light a fire in a downpour, I didn’t give up.
I held onto that spark within me. I held onto that willingness. I didn’t give up.
This might sound crazy, but that’s how I felt.
In my heart, I knew it wouldn’t kill me, even though it felt like it would.
I was willing to LOSE my LITTLE life in order to gain a GREATER awareness.
I surrendered everything even as I was mentally clinging to it. The war within was ON!
I was so sick and tired of PLAYING SMALL and I was determined to stop.
I knew the key was LOVE.
I knew Love was the HEALER – I just didn’t know the HOW. I had NO CLUE.
I made FAITH and TRUST my #1 priority and the road map of HOW was revealed to me.
That’s what I’ll be sharing with you today as we start 3 weeks of Stop Playing Small Classes.
Focus on this for the next 40 days – let this be what you give up for this Lenten period:
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1. Give up judging yourself and anyone else
2. Give up comparing yourself to anyone else
3. Give up complaining
Be willing. Remember, all thought produces form at some level. Give yourself a break and Stop Playing Small. Your magnificence awaits you! When you think the thoughts of judgment, comparison and complaning, the illusion is that you become a crap magnet. Choose to Be a Love Magnet and REPLACE the judgments, comparisons and complains with thoughts of gratitude, appreciation, beauty, Love and compassion. Be generous of heart.
A gorgeous life of Love is your spiritual destiny – start today! And if you feel that my Stop Playing Small class can support you – trust your heart to know if it’s right for you! Click here to learn more about Stop Playing Small Class begins today!