Fault Finder

May 23, 2021

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In all of my programs, the #1 thing that most people feel is their issue is trust and faith. A Course in Miracles tells us trust is the #1 characteristic of God’s teachers, and it’s also our biggest challenge … until it’s not. Once we get the hang of trust, it’s MUCH less of an issue, and our whole life changes.

Until we develop trust, fear is a constant pest, like a vicious mosquito that won’t go away. It makes life feel like it’s not worth living at times.

The primary way we make life so hard and painful for ourselves is the way in which we choose to look at everything – which is completely under our control. Like most folks, I’ve learned this the hard way.

I was a fault finder. I was a chronic complainer. My trust and faith were in my own opinions and my own ability to control and manipulate people with anger. And until I changed that, I was the perpetrator of my own crucifixion.

I expected to be let down by others.
I expected to be rejected.

Sometimes I would even hurry the process of disappointment and dejection so that I could just get past the inevitable.

Right now, I’m very blessed and I’m highly aware of it. We’re at a place in the Masterful Living Curriculum (my year-long course) where I get to have 1 on 1 meetings with the folks in the class. I get to know them better and learn about what’s most important to them. I really LOVE this opportunity to get to know people from all over the world who are on this personal healing journey together with me.

One of the most common things I hear from folks is that they have been in A Course in Miracles study groups, and studying ACIM for years, with little sense of really shifting their life and relieving their challenges. I can SO relate to that. For years they studied and took classes, went to retreats, meditated, and did all kinds of things without finding a whole lot of relief or deepening connection with God.

They tell me that in just a short period of doing the work in our classes they are having more healing, more expansion, more connection with Spirit than in YEARS of study.

That’s exactly what happened for me.
I was still finding myself writing in emotional pain for the mistakes I was making in my relationships and in life. I was constantly judging myself for not being good enough.

EVEN THOUGH, I was studying spirituality ALL THE TIME.
The only conclusion I could come to was that “it must be me. Something’s wrong with ME.”
And there was my crucifixion.

Until, I decided to go for it.
To really LIVE it, for REAL.
To be ALL IN.

And stop kidding myself.

Deep down, we know that Spiritual growth and healing isn’t an intellectual process.

We really do KNOW it.

In our heart, we know that we’re hiding behind the study, and the books.
Even though we WANT the changes, in our heart, we’re not willing to do what it takes,
… and we KNOW it.

We know that being half-baked, kind of, sort of, “in” doesn’t heal our mind.

I was a student for so long – searching and trying and studying.
I was a really good student.
I was good at seeking, but not REALLY finding.

Now, I feel more like a devotee or a disciple.
Devotion is a way of life. It’s a way of being.

And, I get that it’s not for everyone.
But it has been my path of greatest happiness, fulfillment, Joy, and success in my relationships and in my contributions to life.

I’ll be honest, I avoided this shift of going ALL IN because I thought I’d have to give up the things I enjoyed and the pleasures in life. I really didn’t want to give those up because I felt like that’s all I had.

I’ve had more than one person tell me that they didn’t go ALL IN because they didn’t want to give up one or more of these things:

  • Nightly ice cream
  • Glass or 2, or 3 of wine
  • Binge-watching TV
  • Sexual fantasies
  • Blaming someone for their problems

I had all of those. I did. I didn’t want to give up any of that and more. Cigarettes.

I really truly used to feel that those “pleasures” were ALL that I had.
Those indulgences were all that was “for me” everything else was for someone else and it was hard, and difficult, and confusing and NOT FUN.

Those “pleasures” were all that stood between me and total unhappiness.

My shift didn’t happen overnight, or because I read a book.
My shift came through really LIVING the teachings of A Course in Miracles.
I began to apply it day by day.
I began to focus on the practical application and I made that the focus of my life.

Now, I can see that things really changed for me when I focused on developing trust instead of focusing on conquering fear.

ACIM Lesson 190 tell us “Pain is a wrong perspective.”

I shifted my focus from looking at the past and reliving the pain of it
—to living in the present, and choosing trust. Fear fell away.

All I’ve really had to give up is the causes of my suffering.

I gave them to Spirit for healing and they have been healed.

I have challenges every day, but I don’t suffer.

And my own personal repeating patterns of pain.

Now, I’m committed to releasing the habits of learning through the contrast of my experiences and I am choosing to dedicate and devote myself to remembering the truth instead.

Experience is wonderful.
I’m not giving it up.

But that’s not how I prefer to learn anymore.
I’m willing to have direct insight and follow it.

I’m more clear than ever that we can remember the truth rather than try to understand it through experiential learning which takes time.

And that’s what I share in my classes: How to become that active, happy learner rather than having to repeat the same painful patterns for years on end while our ego becomes so spiritual trying to learn what our Spirit already knows and the ego never will.

Through my practice of prayer, in the way ACIM teaches, I learned that what Ernest Holmes, the founder of Science of Mind said is true: “the only time it takes to have a healing is the time that it takes to have a realization.” Our realization of our own wholeness, beauty, and perfection is at hand. The time is now. It’s our belief that healing takes time that we must surrender. It’s a false construct that no longer serves us.

We are in the time of transfiguration and resurrection.
We can have a realization of wholeness now.

Because we have believed healing takes time, it seemed to be so.

It’s not true. It’s a false concept. Time is nothing and it has no power.

There is one power: Love.
Love is our healer because Love is what we are.
When we remember to Love we are healed of false perceptions.

Love IS a realization of the truth.
The truth is a revelation of Love.

I am already as holy as holy can be.
I cannot become any more holy.
My work is to remember this is true and stop forgetting.

ACIM says, “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” T16:IV:6 We’re already there. We already have the golden ticket!

Our journey has been one of forgetting and remembering. That’s all. We forgot our true identity, our Wholeness, our Beauty and our Perfection. The way to remember it is to seek the kingdom first. The kingdom is within. It’s in our own heart. It’s already there.

ACIM tells us that our heart is the altar of God and that the barriers to Love are the false idols we have upon the altar. We must be willing to release our attachment to the false idols by letting go and giving them to the Higher Holy Spirit Self for healing. That’s all. That’s it.

And then, we’re sure to have everything added unto us. The full realization of our true identity will be revealed. It’s only hiding behind the crowd of false idols upon the altar of our heart.

False idols are the grievances we hold. False idols are our attachments to what we think will make us happy. In Lesson 24, ACIM tells us, “In no situation that arises do you realize the outcome that would make you happy.”

He’s unequivocal. There’s NO situation in which we know how to choose what will actually make us happy. In Lesson 25, he tells us this is because we “do not know what anything is for.”

Consider how emphatic he is. When we’re holding onto grievances, we don’t know what anything in our life is for, and we don’t have a single clue as to what would make us happy. That’s clear. That’s not hard to understand, unless we’re willing to sacrifice our happiness in order to hold onto our grievances. And for a long, long time, I was willing to make that sacrifice, but not anymore.

I finally realized that there’s no way I can let go of the pain of the past as long as I keep interpreting it the same way. I have to let go of the meaning I’ve made of things in order to stop blocking my happiness. It’s a decision I must make. No one else can do it for me.

In order for the pain of my self-made suffering to end, I had to change my perspective.

Over the course of the last 14 years or so I’ve finally come to realize that I’d rather be happy. I’ve come to discover that I actually CAN be happy almost all of the time. I can be peaceful. Twenty years ago I wouldn’t have believed it was ever possible. Now I am living this way. It’s a miracle.

I’m dedicating my life to supporting those who are interested in this too. I feel so blessed for the community we’re creating. Around me I see people cultivating a great willingness. I see many who are challenged and I see many who are rising above the challenges. We are doing it and we’re doing it together.

Over and over again I see the people around me letting go of their grievances and handing them to Spirit to heal. I see them moving into a greater and greater willingness and I see their bodies healing, their relationships healing, their finances healing, their self-esteem healing. Everything in their lives is healing.

These people I get to serve are healing so much faster than I was.
Because they have so much more willingness than I did.
And each one’s willingness inspires another.

The more willing we are the easier it is.
This I’ve proved and others prove it around me every day.

Today, I feel victorious because I’m more willing than ever before.
Today, I feel the healing is happening and the fear is fading from my mind.

I’m done with that FOREVER.

My life has gotten so much better as a result of my spiritual practice. I’ve had so much miraculous healing in my family and in my heart that I had to share it with others. That’s why 13 years ago, I created a boot camp class called Family Freedom. The very first time I offered it, shortly after my mother’s passing in 2008, people also had amazing and miraculous healing using the tools I’ve used.

I realized that the curriculum was really all about applying the ACIM principles in a way that brought freedom from fear and so I’ve continued to work on this class and update it and now I call it Finding Freedom From Fear. It’s my spiritual boot camp class. A 90-day program for those who are willing to do the work to put fear behind them.

Trust doesn’t magically happen. We can develop it – doing it together is so much easier. Don’t wait.

I haven’t offered this class in 8 months, but I’m starting another boot camp at the beginning of June. You can read the testimonials and learn more here if you’re really ready to put fear behind you and live more in alignment with the ACIM principles. If you’re ready to focus on the development of trust and faith, to improve every day of the rest of your life, to get out of your head and into your heart, this could be your answered prayer. Click now to learn more:

Finding Freedom From Fear

If this is right for you right now, you’ll know it. Follow your intuition.

My boot camp is so powerful and transformative that it’s also a requirement for my Spiritual Counseling Certification Program.

You can even book an Exploratory Call with a spiritual counselor who has taken the class and can answer your questions – no charge for the call – get your questions answered by someone who knows so you can make a clear decision. Click here to book an Exploratory Call at your convenience.

TODAY: I’m online at Sundays With Spirit with kironJ Gardner who inspires me SO much and other friends. All are welcome! We have a free spiritual celebration every Sunday and you’re invited!

Join me and This is your chance, if you’d like to join me and GO FOR IT!
You’ll be able to close out this year feeling like you had one of the best years ever!

If you’ve been thinking about doing my for a while, but just haven’t been ready, consider booking an exploratory call with one of the spiritual counselors. They can answer all your questions and you’ll know what’s best for you.
Trust your intuition! Finding Freedom From Fear Bootcamp

Book an exploratory call today!

If this is right for you right now, you’ll know it.

My spiritual bootcamp isn’t for everyone – it’s for those who are willing to dive in and do the work to free their mind – and have fun doing it!

Finding Freedom From Fear
Click here now to learn more.


ACIM, daily prayer, Inspiration, Jennifer Hadley, Living A Course in Miracles, love, miracles, Peace, prayer, Spirituality

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