The End of Passive Aggressive Pain

September 3, 2022

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As promised in yesterday’s Spiritual Espresso on Anger As Passive Aggressive Behavior I’m going to share how I’ve learned to overcome the passive-aggressive pain in my life.  This has been such an important commitment for me, and it’s required my true attention and willingness.

Many people I’ve spoken with over the years don’t realize that they can truly, permanently and profoundly change their life for the better.  They tell me they feel fairly hopeless and stuck in their emotional ruts.  I get it.  I felt that way too – for a LONG time.

The pain we generate and participate in can seem overwhelming on all levels – physically, emotionally, and mentally.

The patterns feel so sticky.  The habits seem so ingrained.  

What I absolutely know is that no matter how intense the painful passive-aggressive behavior is, no matter how sticky it feels, it can be transformed when we invite Spirit in.  That’s why I say, let the Holy Spirit do the heavy lifting.  

We won’t really know just how much you can give away until you go for it.  What I’ve seen year after year, is that people who have the willingness to do this have done it.  I’ve supported so many in making these changes through my Finding Freedom and Masterful Living Course.  Their testimonials prove that it’s not just me, it’s anyone who is truly willing.  

It’s necessary to build the fire of desire.  That inner fire to release the past and live in Freedom now, burns away the dross of old beliefs.  We can give ourselves that gift.  Others can inspire us, but we must be the ones who realize that we’re worthy of a peaceful life.  We can realize we’re worthy of a life of Joyful living.  We decide to give Spirit the heavy lifting.

So often we think it’s just not possible, so why try?  

We’ve tried so many times, and failed, why bother?  

The thing I realized is that Spirit cannot fail, only ego fails.  Don’t put ego in charge.  Take a stand for the miraculous.

You ARE a miracle.  And so is everyone you’re in relationship with.

We’re all entitled to live a miraculous life.  We’re designed to live a miraculous life.  If we’re not already living a miraculous life then the missing ingredient is putting Spirit in charge.

One reason why people don’t put Spirit in charge is because they’re afraid that they’ll lose something they think they really want or need.  In A Course in Miracles, Jesus tells us that we don’t know what will make us happy.  Since we don’t actually know what will make us happy, let’s just stop pretending that we do.  There’s a big difference between momentary pleasure and real Joy.  Let’s go for the Joy.  The momentary pleasure isn’t worth it.  

I used to think that the momentary pleasure was all I had, and all I could have.  I remember how that feels.

My first big step was having the willingness to put Spirit in charge and be willing to believe that Spirit would lead me and guide me.  I can see now that I was afraid I might have to make a sacrifice and give up the only things that gave me pleasure in my life.  Now, I’m so clear that everything I’ve given up caused me pain.  What a relief to eliminate the causes of pain!  Thank you, Spirit!

Like so many folks, I had been deluded into thinking that manipulating people and trying to control things would lead to my protection, and my happiness.  All that it did was lead to feelings of hopelessness followed by over-eating, drinking, smoking, complaining endlessly and obsessive exercise.  

I was in a near constant state of resentment and regret.  It was torture.

My first big step of putting Spirit in charge and being willing to follow was a life-changer for me.

It was no sacrifice to give up what was painful.

It was no sacrifice to stop the things that left me feeling like a loser.

I had to be willing to believe that a way could be found for me, even for me, when I was feeling so confused and disheartened.  

I had to place my trust in Spirit rather than my ego’s ability to manipulate and control people through my moods, my withholding and my emotions.

Over the years, I’ve supported so many people who have profoundly changed their life and their relationships.  Marriages, friendships, parents and children, co-workers all have found their way to a healing through their willingness to put Spirit in charge.

Step 1 – I learned to say, Spirit show me the way, a thousand times a day.  

Step 2 – I learned to be willing to recognize the guidance.  

Step 3 – I learned to be willing to FOLLOW the guidance.

Tomorrow, I’m going to share another key step of how I transformed my life and my relationships and eliminated the pain of passive-aggressive behavior.

My Stop Playing Small Online Retreat starts Friday, Sept 9. If you’d like support for making a shift from playing small in your heart, living in lack and limitation, getting in your own way, to living from Love and feeling more free and focused, check out my Stop Playing Small retreat – it’s online – you’ve never had so much FUN clearing out the mental and emotional clutter!   Fear won’t stop us!  Click here for more details.

MY LATEST ACIM PODCAST EPISODE:  my topic is God’s Plan for Salvation.  It’s simpler than we think!


ACIM, daily prayer, Inspiration, Jennifer Hadley, Living A Course in Miracles, love, miracles, Peace, prayer, Spirituality

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