Obsessive Compulsive Defend and Attack

March 13, 2023

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Yesterday in Sundays With Spirit I was sharing about how much time and energy I used to invest/spend/waste being upset.  For most of my life I struggled with obsessive compulsive thinking related to feeling angry, hurt, resentful, ashamed, defensive and more.  I’d go over and over and over and over and over and OVER the same thoughts on a loop that felt like a whirlpool of toxicity dragging me down.

Until about 16 years ago I didn’t really feel I had a good way to interrupt those patterns of thought and feeling.  I felt like a victim of my own mind.  

I became willing to do what it took to break free of those negative patterns and I’ve been so amazed that it truly is possible to live without those patterns.  

Those patterns are habitual thought and we can break the habits when we Partner UP.  

I used to go into a repeat of the same conversation, entirely in my head, with a person I was upset with.  I’d go over the conversation sometimes hundreds of times.  It used to feel painful.  I’d feel like such a loser because I didn’t feel like I had any control over my thoughts and that was so discouraging.  

I’d feel spiritually stupid when I couldn’t take dominion over my mind.

I used to be very focused on defending myself.  

That took up so much of my mental and emotional bandwidth.  

It was exhausting.

A Course in Miracles has REALLY helped me, because I’m living it, not studying it.

ACIM has taught me what I couldn’t see before and that is that our defensive thinking is actually motivated by a secret desire to attack.  

When we were willing to realize that the defensiveness isn’t what we think it is, then we can be willing to give UP our attack thoughts and simply relax the defensive mind.  We can move into neutrality.  We can be restored to a peaceful mind.  Healing has happened.

Every time we interrupt the patterns, we’re closer to liberation!

If you’d like to find a way to give up struggling with this kind of a pattern of rising up only to crash back down again with self-medication and other self-destructible choices, if you’d like to fast track the release of habits of guilt and shame, I’m offering my End My Self-Sabotage Challenge later this month.  

If you’re a secret smoker, if you isolate and self-medicate with food or alcohol and then feel ashamed and filled with self-judgment; if you’re aware that you keep sabotaging yourself, please consider joining in this beautiful program with a group of like-minded souls who’re remembering to laugh and truly healing these pain patterns.  Together, we can get it done!

LATEST PODCAST EPISODE:  The most recent episode of my podcast’s topic is The Light You Bring. We can fast track ourselves to remembering the truth that is the key to our awakened mind. Everything in ACIM leads us to this awakening and we can step up the process by focusing on certain teachings.


ACIM, daily prayer, Healing, Inspiration, Jennifer Hadley, Living A Course in Miracles, love, miracles, Peace, prayer, Spirituality

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