I Was a Chronic Complainer

February 22, 2024

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Right now, we’re more than halfway to the spring equinox.  It’s getting lighter every day, where I live in the Green Mountains of Vermont.  The sun comes up over the mountain late and goes down behind it early on the other side of the valley.  There’s less light in the valley because of the mountains and this has been the greyest winter in something like 80 years.  I have to have therapy lamps to get through it.  

In many ways, it’s so easy to focus on the dark rather than the light.  And when we do, then all we see is more darkness.  It’s not just the rotation of the sun, and the length of day and night.  

Focusing on darkness has to do with our perspective.  It’s easy to see darkness of all kinds and to judge it and complain about it. When we do that, the view becomes narrow and ugly.  The scenery is depressing and upsetting – or so we think.  

I can admit that my personality is a judger and a fault-finder.  I can look at a perfect thing and find the smallest crack.  I can look at an arrangement of things and instantly see how they could be arranged more coherently, attractively, helpfully.  It used to always work against me.  For much of my life, I simply found more things to criticize every where I looked.  

Now, I can look at things and often I’ll see the beauty before I see what the ego would judge as bad, wrong, imperfect.

I can see the perfection and let it rest at that, but not always.  I’m going for ALWAYS.

Looking for the faults is a habit.  Complaining is a habit.  Habits can be unlearned – and it’s SO worth doing.

Frequently finding fault and complaining about it are ego habits that keep us in a place of near-constant disappointment, blame, criticism, complaint, shame, agitation and irritation.  This way of looking at the world sucks the joy out of life.  It’s right up there with keeping score and holding grudges. If there’s anything worth letting go of, it’s this gnarly habit of seeing the devil in the details.

How do you break this hellish habit?  It’s so simple.  Willingness is all it takes.

It’s a willingness to replace the habit of fault-finding with praising and gratitude.

It’s not so hard to change our life if we’re willing.

Gratitude multiplies the good.

Complaining makes us a crap magnet.

We choose how we’d like our life to go.

Whenever I would realize I wasn’t happy and harmonious, when my Peace seems to have taken the low road, I learned to call upon Spirit to show me where I made the downturn.  It was always some judgment or opinion, some falsehood that had captured my attention.  I learned that I could give whatever the opinion or complaint was to the Higher Holy Spirit Self for healing and regain my Peace, my higher ground.  

I learned to stand in faith that the healing will be done and give thanks that it IS done.  Because I AM willing, there’s nothing to prevent the healing from happening.  This is a powerful formula for transformation that actually works. 

If the complaint returns, it just means I wasn’t really TRULY willing to let my opinion go.  It means I thought I was right.   

Sometimes we’re SO willing to stop being upset, 

but we’re NOT so willing to give up our complaint.  

We can’t have Freedom and keep our complaint.  

It’s one or the other.

Thank God for that.  

Now, in this holy instant, we can become TRULY willing.

And we’re carried back to Peace and Harmony.

What complaint have you got that’s worth trading your Peace for?  

I actually used to have SO MANY complaints that felt so important to me, but now, I don’t have an interest in making that trade for Peace.

Learning to make the trade of handing over the false belief in exchange for the Peace is what we do in my Masterful Living Program, and so much more.  Registration has just been reopened just until Monday.  

Let’s consider what we can do to deepen our spiritual practice this year and make that a priority.

I do that every year and I never regret it.  

Next time you feel less than peaceful remember that you’re never upset for the reason you think. The cause of upset isn’t “out there” in the world.  The cause of all upset is holding a grievance, a false belief or idea in our heart that we won’t let go.  We think we’re upset because others are unloving, but in truth, we’re upset because we lack compassion for those who are unloving.

Freedom is right here right now if we’re willing to keep it in focus.  If we’re focused on finding faults and complaining, there’s not going to be any Freedom in our mind.  

I use affirmations to help me keep my mind aligned with Spirit.

What are my affirmations?

I AM willing to focus on the Light.  

I AM the Light.  

I Love the Light. 

I serve the Light. 

I live in the Light.  

The Light is All.

I’ve found that affirmations are one of the most powerful tools I have to change my mind and choose again.  They’re an active demonstration of my willingness to go the other way.  There’s no real willingness if we’re not making a different choice.

I was so entrenched in the complaining mind and I didn’t know that I was making myself miserable.  I thought I was a victim and that it was happening to me.  I had to forgive myself in order to get out of these painful patterns.  I won’t kid you, it took real effort and it took great willingness.

I was sharing about this in my most recent podcast episode, Answering the Call.   

“The Holy Spirit is in you in a very literal sense.  His is the Voice that calls you back to where you were before and will be again.  It is possible even in this world to hear only that Voice and no other.  It takes effort and great willingness to learn.  It is the final lesson that I learned, and God’s Sons are as equal as learners as they are as Sons.”  A Course in Miracles, T-5.II.3. 

It’s possible for us.  We are on that path.  We can learn to listen only to the Higher Holy Spirit Self.  We’re proving it.  We’re doing it.  

Forgiveness is an effective tool to help us let go of our attachments to the past and to listening to the ego thoughts.  Most people don’t understand forgiveness, how it works and how completely miraculous it is.  Even the most dedicated A Course in Miracles students frequently are confused about it.  In our Power of Love community we’re becoming experts at letting go of the past and it’s making a HUGE difference in our lives and the lives of our loved ones.  Forgiveness is a spiritual practice that’s so much more than words.  

When any one of us has more happiness, we’re all lifted!  All boats rise on this tide of Love.  Let’s go first and share the blessing with all!

Are you a complainer too?  Doing this healing work on our own is really challenging.  Most people don’t do it on their own.  It’s too hard and it takes so much longer.  What I’ve realized, from offering my Masterful Living Course these past 16 years, is that doing it together, in community, with like-minded souls, Spirit is in the midst of us and we become truly miracle-minded.  Extraordinary healing happens in our community because of the level of support we offer each other.  I’ve never experienced anything like it. 

And that’s why I reopened Masterful Living registration for a few more days ONLY!  Monday is the LAST DAY to jump in until NEXT YEAR. 

If you’re SO READY to make a change and don’t know quite how, if you have any inkling that TRULY living A Course in Miracles would heal your life, your relationships and your body, we may be the community for you.  There’s so much support, from like-minded folks all around the world.  New friends await you.  Prayer partners.  And a heck of a lot more.

Trust your intuition and book an exploratory call now to talk with a spiritual counselor – get all your questions answered, so you can know if Masterful Living is the thing for you this year.  Let this be the year your spiritual practice transforms your life in ways that you never thought possible.

If living a more loving life is a goal of yours consider joining us this year.  Click here now to learn more about my Masterful Living program for truly living A Course in Miracles – Registration is reopened until Monday.

4 DAYS ONLY! I’ve reopened Masterful Living registration only until Monday, February 26 and then it will be closed until next year.

If you’d like to get in on all this unfolding healing and the Joy that comes with discovering we can really truly prove that God works in our lives, don’t hesitate – jump now!  Join now!

If you’re interested in my training for spiritual counselors, Masterful Living is a requirement for certification.

If you’re not sure – book an Exploratory Call with one of the Spiritual Counselors who can answer any of your questions.

Follow your intuition.  If it’s right for you right now – you’ll know.

NEW PODCAST EPISODE!  The most recent episode of my podcast’s topic is Answering the Call.  ACIM tells us that all are called and few choose to listen, and yet these days, more and more people are hearing the call and choosing to respond. WE are responding, in part, because we’ve learned that it’s painful to ignore the call. In this week’s episode, I share my own experiences of feeling unworthy of answering the call for Love and how I learned to realize that ALL are worthy of this call to a joyful life. ALL are worthy.


ACIM, daily prayer, Healing, Inspiration, Jennifer Hadley, Living A Course in Miracles, love, miracles, Peace, prayer, Spirituality

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