Meltdowns Happen

February 25, 2024

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Like most people, from time to time I experience people in my life having an emotional meltdown.  Not a nervous breakdown, but simply losing their ability to not be emotionally reactive.  There are all different ways to do it – some people yell, some withdraw, some say things they don’t mean, some attack, some defend.  It’s really all the same.

I’ve learned to “keep my seat,” as the Buddhists say.  I’ve spent years cultivating that ability and it’s a great asset.  I’ve learned to go beyond just being able to stay peaceful, harmonious, non-reactive to actually being able to extend Love and compassion.  It’s not always perfect, but it’s always helpful.

Compassion is loving understanding and it’s so profoundly healing when I can genuinely and authentically offer compassion and non-judgment to someone who’s behaving insanely in the moment.  

Now, I’m not talking about someone who’s being threatening or abusive.  That’s a different thing.  I’m speaking about when someone is really upset, and reactive.  Also, I’m at a point where I don’t think someone can be emotionally abusive to me.  They might be yelling and blaming, but I’m probably not going to take it personally to any great degree, so it doesn’t feel like abuse – even if they intend it that way.   I recognize the cry for Love.

I’m thinking of a time in recent years when someone in my life, not close to me, but important to me, was angry, yelling, and generally having a meltdown.  I knew they were triggered by things that had nothing to do with me.  I was just there, in front of them, when they got triggered.  I knew it was the unconscious guilt that was coming up ferociously at a time when they felt weak and vulnerable and not physically well and it was just too much for them.

Even in that moment when they were acting in a threatening way, I didn’t feel threatened.  They were like a grown person having a childish temper tantrum – unreasonable, playing games, and generally behaving in a petulant and immature way.  

I used to do the very same thing.

And because I did it so very many times I recognized what was happening.  

It was the crossroads of physical and emotional overwhelm along with guilt and shame as well as deep wounds getting triggered.  A terrible fear of not being good enough.  It was very familiar to me.  I used to be a frequent visitor to that land of pain.

I tried to reason with them, but I knew the thing to do was to be neutral and compassionate.  To be kind, and non-reactive as much as possible.  

I didn’t see them for a month or two and, when I did, I was as I usually was.  I didn’t hold it against them.  

As the months went by, I could tell they appreciated that I never said anything about it to make them feel stupid and ashamed for their extremely immature and threatening behavior.  When they apologized to me, I said I understood.  “Everyone gets overwhelmed sometimes.  It’s not a big deal to me.”

It was a big deal, because there were arrangements we had that got cancelled and that was an issue, but it wasn’t a big deal that they took their meltdown out on me.  I actually could clearly see my compassionate response was an opportunity to be truly helpful.  If anything, if there had to be a meltdown, I could be grateful that it was in my face rather than someone else’s because I have a commitment to being loving.

Since then, this person that I see from time to time – has opened their heart to me whereas before they seemed closed and defensive.  They know now, because of my response to their display, that I’m a caring person to be trusted and that our relationship is to be valued.  Now, they go out of their way to be helpful to me, and show they care.

They also gently admitted that something they’d blamed me for, was really theirs to own, but it was a non-blaming conversation and they took responsibility in a non-event kind of way.  It let them off the hook of their guilt for having blamed me, and I didn’t have any need to rub their nose in it.

That’s what spiritual maturity looks like.

What’s extremely important to me is to build a world where when people have meltdowns and triggered reactions, that the folks around them can respond with compassion, real Love and understanding, and that those moments can be healing moments.  When we can turn the other cheek and offer compassion then intimacy deepens.  We can feel the Love.

We feel safer with someone if they’ve seen the worst of us and they’re still around.  (Again, this doesn’t include accepting abuse – I don’t accept any kinds of abuse.)

It’s about the willingness to truly Love.  To love the being, but not their behavior.  To see the best in them is to be truly helpful.  Many times it will require great willingness, until we get the hang of It, and then it’s not so hard.

Our spiritual practices are so much about cultivating a true and authentic willingness.  Willingness IS a spiritual practice.  Like gratitude, willingness lifts us up above the battlefield of victimhood.  And then we can be truly helpful. 

We enter into the realm of miracles with our willingness.

Let’s have a miraculous day of willingness to put Love in charge.  

Spirit gives us the inspiration, and Love provides the transportation!

TODAY: Sundays With Spirit, our online service is today. I hope to see you on ZOOM! Click here to learn more and register if you’re not already. Of course, there’s no charge and ALL are welcome! Register now to get the zoom link.

In my year-long Masterful Living Program a number of people have healed their depression, gone off anti-depressants, let go of old hurts and sadness that has troubled them.  And something else really beautiful – they’ve healed their families.  It’s the spiritual practice of willingness that does it.

Giving up the grievances was one of the hardest things I’ve EVER done.  AND it was one of the best things I’ve ever done.  That’s why I truly LOVE to be able to support others in doing this same healing inner work.  It’s not easy!  But it’s more worthwhile than we can even IMAGINE.  

Most people don’t do it on their own.  It’s too hard and it takes so much longer.  What I’ve realized, from offering my Masterful Living Program these past 16 years, is that doing it together, in community, with like-minded souls, Spirit is in the midst of us and we become truly miracle-minded.  Extraordinary healing happens in our community because of the level of support we offer each other.  I’ve never experienced anything like it. 

And that’s why I reopened Masterful Living registration for a few more days ONLY!  Monday is the LAST DAY to jump in until NEXT YEAR. 

If you’re SO READY to make a change and don’t know quite how, if you have any inkling that TRULY living A Course in Miracles would heal your life, your relationships and your body, we may be the community for you.  There’s so much support, from like-minded folks all around the world.  New friends await you.  Prayer partners.  And a heck of a lot more.

Trust your intuition and book an exploratory call now to talk with a spiritual counselor – get all your questions answered, so you can know if Masterful Living is the thing for you this year.  Let this be the year your spiritual practice transforms your life in ways that you never thought possible.

If living a more loving life is a goal of yours consider joining us this year.  Click here now to learn more about my Masterful Living program for truly living A Course in Miracles – Registration is reopened until Monday.

2 DAYS ONLY! I’ve reopened Masterful Living registration only until Monday, February 26 and then it will be closed until next year.

If you’d like to get in on all this unfolding healing and the Joy that comes with discovering we can really truly prove that God works in our lives, don’t hesitate – jump now!  Join now!

If you’re interested in my training for spiritual counselors, Masterful Living is a requirement for certification.

If you’re not sure – book an Exploratory Call with one of the Spiritual Counselors who can answer any of your questions.

Follow your intuition.  If it’s right for you right now – you’ll know.

 
NEW PODCAST EPISODE!  The most recent episode of my podcast’s topic is Answering the Call. ACIM tells us that all are called and few choose to listen, and yet these days, more and more people are hearing the call and choosing to respond. WE are responding, in part, because we’ve learned that it’s painful to ignore the call. In this week’s episode, I share my own experiences of feeling unworthy of answering the call for Love and how I learned to realize that ALL are worthy of this call to a joyful life. ALL are worthy.


Tags

ACIM, daily prayer, Healing, Inspiration, Jennifer Hadley, Living A Course in Miracles, love, miracles, Peace, prayer, Spirituality, willingness


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