Some people use the threat of guilt as a motivator. Some use guilt to keep them playing small and avoid taking risks. Guilt itself is self-sabotage.
I’ve talked with many folks who don’t fully enjoy their life because they feel it would be selfish and they’d feel guilty for having a happier life than their loved ones. Many people even feel guilty just for taking care of themselves – as though good self-care somehow is putting themselves first, which is bad and wrong.
The guilty mind punishes again and again. It’s self-sabotage. Self-punishment is a strong motivator for many people and it keeps them in a loop, like a hamster on a wheel, repeating a limited and unhappy existence. It is our destiny to live a joyful life and A Course in Miracles is the mind-training to help us get there!
Getting rid of guilt is one of the reasons why people in my Masterful Living Program have physical healing and relief from chronic pain and depression.
It’s interesting how many people believe they should feel guilty for taking care of themselves. One of the biggest challenges I see operating in many people’s minds is this belief that it’s better to give than to receive. How could that be true when there is only one? It’s insanity.
The only place to give to is Spirit and the only place to receive from is Spirit, how could giving be better than receiving? It’s so important and valuable and healing and nourishing to be receptive to Spirit’s guidance and flow of Love. Without that we wither and die, literally!
The ego thought system is diabolically oppositional to itself. The ego believes that taking care of yourself is selfish, which is bad and wrong. The ego believes that we’re supposed to give and give and give and give in order to get the Love, approval, attention and affection that we want and need. We end up believing that we have to give and give and give in order to earn Love, thereby reinforcing the idea that we’re separate from Love.
The ego believes that others are selfish, bad and wrong if they don’t appreciate all that we’re giving to them. They should reciprocate by giving us everything that we need. It’s all lunacy. It’s time for a healing!
When we don’t take good care of ourselves, when we over-give and give in order to get something back, then we’re going to feel depleted and it’s not because someone made us or we did it for someone else. Over-giving to depletion is a choice that is a form of self-sabotage and it’s time for us to let it go!
We over-give because we believe in lack. Over-giving is an affirmation of lack.
Spiritual students often believe that suffering and martyrdom are somehow holy.
Suffering and martyrdom are the OPPOSITE of holy.
Suffering and martyrdom are pure ego.
It’s our responsibility to take good care of ourselves and keep our wellspring of energy, radiance and luminousity full.
There are no extra points for running on empty.
No one can do this for us – this is ours to do.
If you feel guilty for taking good care of yourself consider this: when we live in service to the Light, then everything we do to make sure we are a brightly shining light brings benefit to all.
It’s not selfish to take good care of ourselves, it’s another act of service to the Light!
What can you do today to care for yourself with excellence?
Love is the healer and self-care is healing!
The most healing thing I know is an effective spiritual practice which always includes self-Love! This is how we move beyond self-sabotage and self-induced suffering.
I’m getting ready to offer my Challenge to End Self-Sabotage starting Sunday, (first week is free – register now!) and I’m very excited about it because it’s been helpful to so many in releasing the habits of pain and shame.
