The Habit Running Underneath Everything

August 4, 2026

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Most of us don’t think of ourselves as attacking anyone.

We’d never speak to a friend the way we speak to ourselves. Yet the stream runs all day long, quietly, underneath everything.

Self-attack is a habit. It’s so intensely habitual that we stop hearing it.

I used to motivate myself with negativity. That looked like thoughts such as, you better do that. If you don’t do that, how could you not do that?

I berated myself. I chastised myself. I threatened myself, and I called it discipline.

I’ve heard accomplished spiritual teachers, people who have been teaching for decades, catch themselves in a limiting choice and say out loud, oh, how stupid. How could I be so stupid?

When we speak that way about ourselves, we’re teaching something.

We’re teaching that attack is normal. Acceptable. The right thing to do.

We’re teaching the value of attack.

Here’s what I see again and again: many people are playing small in their life solely because of self-attack thoughts.

Not because they lack talent or skill. Not because they aren’t beautiful and wonderful loving people. They simply hold false beliefs about themselves, and they attack themselves all day long.

It all stems from belief:

  • We believe we’re unworthy
  • We believe we’re not good enough
  • We berate ourselves for it
  • Under that constant stream of attack, we fail

Then the hidden wish gets satisfied.

Because we don’t actually wish to succeed. We wish to fail, in order to prove that we were right about ourselves all along.

I’d say the majority of lightworkers I’ve met would rather play small. They feel more comfortable there. They think they’d like to be really successful, but they’re not yet willing to be mindful of their thoughts, words, and actions.

That willingness is the whole work. It’s also the most challenging thing you’ll ever do.

A Course in Miracles tells us:

“There are no idle thoughts. All thought produces form at some level.”

Form is our feelings. Our experience. Everything we’re living right now.

I decided to stop attacking myself. To love myself fully, completely, authentically, as I am.

That decision made a lasting difference in every part of my life.

You can make a decision too.

If you’re ready to do this work of dissolving the habit of self-attack, consider my Finding Freedom From Fear Bootcamp which starts next month.

THIS SATURDAYAugust 8 we’re going deeper together in my Deep Dive Workshop, Why Am I So Hard On Myself? If self-attack and criticism is your struggle, come join me. This is a habit that can be dissolved. Two and a half hours. We’ll do the heavy lifting together.  YES, I’M GIVING MYSELF THIS GIFT Learn more now 

My next FREE Forgiveness Workshops is Saturday August 29. Come as you are, however you can. You don’t have to feel ready. You don’t have to have done any prep work. Your willingness is all that’s required. Click for more info: powerofloveministry.net/forgive

NEW PODCAST EPISODE:  The Decision to Forget One ordinary morning, Leon Joel Russell opened A Course in Miracles and hit a single paragraph that stopped him cold for six days. This week Jennifer Hadley sits down with her fellow ACIM teacher to follow where that paragraph led them, into a question most of us spend a lifetime avoiding: what are we actually afraid of, underneath all of it? Where they take it is lighter than the question sounds. Two friends who love the truth, going somewhere worth following.


Tags

A Course in Miracles, ACIM, daily prayer, Healing, Inspiration, Jennifer Hadley, Living A Course in Miracles, love, miracles, Peace, prayer, Spirituality


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