I used to be enmeshed in one particular cycle of self-sabotage: getting upset and staying upset.

Then I’d fan the flames of that upset with thoughts of my own righteousness.

It came in strongest when I felt someone I loved had been attacked or wronged.

You can do what you like regarding me. You can say what you like regarding me. Yet you cannot speak unkindly or hurtfully toward someone I love. I will not tolerate that.

That protector energy would rise up in me like a big fire of defending the innocent.

It felt righteous. It felt justified. It felt good.

Here’s what helped me see it correctly: when we feel righteous, that’s a clue we’re not in our right mind.

We can even disguise it. Oh, I’d like to be helpful to them and show them they’re wrong. The need to be right, the need to establish that I know and you don’t, dressed up in service clothing.

That’s self-sabotage wearing a hero’s costume.

And righteousness isn’t the only way we fan the flame.

• We can fan the flames with anger.

• We can fan the flames with sadness. Oh, it’s so sad. So sad. So sad.

• We can fan the flames with disappointment, hurt, and disillusionment.

The mechanism is always identical.

We get upset. We stay upset. We keep finding reasons to be upset.

That’s the cycle.  And it’s pure self-sabotage.

Getting upset is a choice.

We can fan the flame, or we can hand it over to Spirit for healing.

Higher Holy Spirit Self, please heal my mind. I’d like to release this.

That willingness is what interrupts the pattern and heals it forever.

If you notice yourself doing it again and you’d like to break the cycle in community, my End My Self-Sabotage program starts tomorrow. Getting real with ourselves about what’s actually going on isn’t for the weak and the timid. It’s for the spiritual practitioner.

Come and be willing to do some work with us.

We’re done fanning the flames of our pain.

Sometimes when we become overwhelmed and upset by what we think we see we find ways to drown out the intensity of our reactions. We fall into various forms of self-medication and self-sabotage. I know a lot about that. And that’s why I created a program to rise up out of that pain.