In yesterday’s Daily Shot of Spiritual Espresso, I Was So Bored, I talked about how I wanted to quit high school because I was bored, but also I was feeling deprived of the opportunity to really learn and grow and be challenged in ways that were interesting, exciting and even fun. I liked learning, I just didn’t like the atmosphere and attitude in the High School I was in.
When I told my parents I was going to drop out of school, they found a new school for me to go to.
It was a big deal for them and for our family. I enrolled in a private, alternative school. It had what was, at that time, expensive tuition, and it required me to take a 30 minute bus ride into Providence, the big city, every day. It was a big change and a big expense and fortunately my grandparents helped to make it possible.
My parents were educators. My Mom had been a Montessori teacher, and involved in the beginning of the Head Start Program. My Dad had been a professor at Brown University. They understood that I was really looking for a school that would be better for me, and they found one.
In Providence there developed an experimental alternative high school that had produced enough interest and demand to generate a private school version. In the alternative High School environment I flourished and became an exemplary student. At School One, I got to learn at a more advanced level and I could make my own curriculums for things I was interested in. I felt that my teachers deeply respected and cared about me. We had friendships. I could trust them. They didn’t talk down to me.
That experience shifted me in a profound way.
One of the things I learned from that was that things aren’t hopeless. Where there’s a true desire of the heart, the road WILL rise to meet you if you believe you can be supported by the Universe, if you feel worthy, and if you are willing to accept, allow and receive.
We sometimes feel deprived. When that happens, it’s important to remember the teaching in A Course in Miracles that says, no one can deprive you, but you. If we’re willing to give up victimhood, betrayal and crucifixion then we can move into that resurrection.
When our mind is focused on what we do not want, and what we do not have, then we’ll only see more of the same.
That’s why I use affirmations like “I’m not interested in that anymore. I am interested in being loving, having fun, enjoying my life, feeling good, etc.”
Our mind IS the mind of God and we’ll always be experiencing what we hold in our mind, if only at the level of the mind. It may not manifest in form, but if we believe that we’re victims, we’ll experience more of it because it’s what we’re focused on. It may be that we simply ruminate more on our belief in victimhood, but there’s really no difference between that and experiences of victimhood.
We have so many more things to focus on, such as being truly helpful.
We can forgive ourselves for repeating the past and for focusing on what we don’t like.
Everything can shift when we practice true forgiveness.
SATURDAY FORGIVENESS WORKSHOP- I’m inviting you to please join our Forgiveness Workshop this Saturday, April 6. It’s FREE – invite a friend!
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