So often I would come back to the question of “why do we cling to negative habits when we know that they’re hurting us?” For so many years, I struggled with resistance and reluctance to healing, to Freedom, to happiness. I’ve learned so much about these habits and patterns – how they form, and how we can dissolve them so much faster than we realize.

What feels the strongest to me is the ego attachment to the things we’ve made. Let me explain.

When there’s a “negative pleasure” that’s derived from something that’s actually self-destructive, it’s because there’s been some association made with the pleasure that becomes part of the ego thinking that “it’s worth it.”

For instance, their can be a pleasure of enjoying a first glass of wine that becomes painful as we continue on to finish two thirds or more of the bottle. Why would someone keep going?

One reason is that once we get on the pain train we have a tendency to feel aligned with negativity, which weakens our energy field and lowers our vibration and then being self-destructive is actually easier. It’s easier to slide down hill than it is to try to climb up hill.

For me, it was a HUGE realization that I don’t have to try to climb up, I can just stop the slide and get off the pain train as soon as I realize I’m on it and heading in the direction of self-destruction.

The more I learned to Love myself, the easier it became for me to get off the pain train.

I was in the habit of riding it all the way to the end, which, for me, meant I REALLY have to go to sleep now. I got to be right about how wrong I was. That was the negative pleasure of going all the way to the end.

By riding the pain train to the absolute end of the line, again and again, I felt justified in thinking how hard this spiritual work was – and particularly, I felt justified in thinking how hard it was for me. I was utterly convinced that it couldn’t work for me because I was so especially bad.

I’m so glad that I kept praying. I’m absolutely certain that my prayers kept me from giving up. I prayed to be more loving.

The main turning point for me was when I made my spiritual life and practice #1 in my life. It was during the time that I shifted into those practices that became my Finding Freedom From Fear spiritual bootcamp that everything changed. My whole orientation changed and I began to achieve lasting success. Healing took hold in my heart and mind.

Can you relate to the idea of negative pleasure? Most of us can. Have you seen that playing out in your life? Most of us would say yes. Do you believe that you can move past these ways of playing small and living in lack and meditati

If you’d like support in doing this work of eliminating negative habits and patterns with ease and grace, please consider taking my Finding Freedom From Fear spiritual bootcamp and joining with other like-minded souls who are doing the same work. I find that when we do the work together we get there faster and we laugh a lot more. It’s so much easier when we peel the layers of painful patterns together. Easier, faster, more Love, more Light, more fun, that’s the way for me! You’re invited!