I don’t like packing for a trip. I’m one of those people that wants to bring everything I could ever possibly want or need and so packing becomes a burden. Plus, I seem to have a dysfunctional relationship with time and space and usually think things will take much less time than they actually do. I’m still not used to the density of this world and how long things take.

One time I was packing for a two week vacation with the family at our home in Maine and packing for the seven hour drive, a stop on the way with friends for a night or two and so I was bringing everything I could think of for myself, Bodhi and Sattva. Plus getting the house and all the plants ready for our absence. So much to do, and by the time I was finally ready to go I had to get Sattva into the car and Bodhi too.

Bodhi was still in puppy mode on this occasion. She was about one and a half years old, and she didn’t want to get in the car as she knew it would be a long drive and she really cannot stand it. She pants the whole way and she won’t lie down. She’s miserable from start to finish. So, she was avoiding getting in the car. She was playing around. I was not in the mood and so I told her what was on my mind, and I was very much aware that I was speaking to a dog who couldn’t understand me and trying to shame her and make her feel guilty and just get in the dang car!

I said, “do you not see how hard I’m working for this family? I worked all day yesterday and got up at 5am today to get us ready for this vacation, which you are going to Love and you haven’t been helping AT ALL. All I’m asking is for you to get in the car so we can get out of here and you can’t even do that much for me! I don’t appreciate it, Bodhi!”

Sometimes, I just need to get it out – and also to make myself laugh at the absurdity of life!

Nonetheless, one of the things I aspire to is to stop saying or doing anything to make others feel guilty and ashamed. It’s really important to me. The more I look at this, the more I see how insidious guilting is in our thinking. Many people are like me, we’ve been laying guilt on ourselves and others for so long and so often we don’t even realize what we’re doing.

It’s things just like this:

“I’ve been working all day for this family, and what have you done? You haven’t done anything. I ask for one little thing and you can’t even do that.” Or, “you said you were going to stop and get the dessert, but you totally forgot. It’s like you don’t even care at all!” Or, “how many times do I have to tell you?”

It’s all shame, guilt and blame laid on with a voice that has a tone.

It’s designed to make the person (or dog) feel guilty and ashamed in order to motivate them.

Yes, of course we can motivate people with shame and guilt – but it’s not kind.

It’s the method of a person who feels powerless because they’re not living from their heart. And it comes back to us in the form of more guilt for us.

I don’t want to be that way anymore.

I’d like to inspire people with Love.

“Forgiveness is the means by which we will remember. Through forgiveness the thinking of the world is reversed. The forgiven world becomes the gate of Heaven, because by its mercy we can at last forgive ourselves. Holding no one prisoner to guilt, we become free. Acknowledging Christ in all our brothers, we recognize His Presence in ourselves. Forgetting all our misperceptions, and with nothing from the past to hold us back, we can remember God. Beyond this, learning cannot go. When we are ready, God Himself will take the final step in our return to Him.” A Course in Miracles, 

One thing I’ve been practicing for years is to give up comparing myself to others. No one has to do things the way I do them. They can do them the way that works for them. Some will be better at some things than I am and some may not be as adept as I am. It’s not important or even possible for all of us to do the same things in the same way.

I used to think I knew what was best. I was constantly judging what others were doing and comparing myself to them. I generated so much unhappiness for myself by laying guilt and shame on others for not measuring up.

These are classic ego patterns. They’ve got to go. They have no place in our life of LOVE.

We set our intention to break the habits of laying guilt and shame on others to manipulate them to do our bidding and meet our standards.

Life really is MUCH better in EVERY way when we relax and lead with LOVE.

That’s my goal and I’m sticking to it. Will you join me? Let me know in the comments below!

LATEST ACIM PODCAST EPISODE: my topic is Choosing Heaven on Earth. ACIM teaches us that we can choose heaven or hell – it’s our decision. In this week’s episode, I share how we can help ourselves out of the low vibration of guilt and shame and live at a higher vibration. It’s not natural for us to suffer.

TODAY:  Sundays With Spirit coming together for inspiration and upliftment – all are welcome!  This is a free gathering powered by Love!  Click here now to register for FREE!