I sometimes think that relationships are the hardest part of life. That used to be true for me.
One of the most helpful and inspiring sections in the text of A Course in Miracles is Chapter 17, Section 5, The Healed Relationship. If you’re interested in having healed and holy relationships, I encourage you to read it over and over and over again.
Here’s what I find so encouraging. When we invite the Higher Holy Spirit Self to make our relationship holy, we only have to ask once. If we’re willing to have our relationships transformed and made holy, the Holy Spirit does all the “heavy lifting.” What’s the heavy lifting? It’s figuring out HOW to have a healing. Our willingness is the only requirement.
This section in ACIM tells us:
“This invitation is accepted immediately, and the Holy Spirit wastes no time in introducing the practical results of asking Him to enter. At once His goal replaces yours. This is accomplished very rapidly, but it makes the relationship seem disturbed, disjunctive and even quite distressing.”
ACIM goes on to say that many relationships have been broken off at this point, with the old goal, the special relationship, re-established in another relationship. The ego’s temptation becomes extremely intense when the Holy Spirit shifts a relationship from special and ego-based to Holy and Spirit-based.
Don’t forget that. Warning to the wise and willing: Be prepared. Seriously.
I’ve worked this with hundreds and hundreds of people. Based on my experience, those who don’t give up and allow the relationship to be made holy are never sorry they did. It’s miraculous. It’s also going to kick your butt. It kicks everyone’s butt so you’re in excellent company.
Remember this: Willingness is all you need bring to the table. The Higher Holy Spirit Self will do all the rest. It will reach into your consciousness and shift it if you’re truly willing.
If we’re attached to what we think a holy relationship will look like, we’ll probably be disappointed, because we’re probably in limited thinking. I trained myself to get out of limited thinking and into the unlimited, unprecedented thinking of the Higher Holy Spirit Self and that’s what I share in my Masterful Living Program.
Instead of energizing what I think the relationship should look like with my thought and belief, I surrender that ego-based thought to the Higher Holy Spirit self, to the holy fire of Love. I invest my energy, which is my thought, in how I’d like to feel in the relationship rather than what I don’t want.
I’d like to feel loving, peaceful, harmonious, expansive, and joyful, at the very least. When a picture of how it should look takes over, I come back to that one question: how would I like to feel?
Then how it looks doesn’t really matter, because looks only matters to the ego. It’s how it is in Spirit that matters.
That’s why ACIM calls relationship the best tool we have for releasing the false identification with the ego and realigning with the Higher Holy Spirit Self. Here’s what it says about the holy relationship:
“The holy relationship, a major step toward the perception of the real world, is learned. It is the old, unholy relationship, transformed and seen anew. The holy relationship is a phenomenal teaching accomplishment.”
The Higher Holy Spirit Self will do all of the work.
What gets in the way is our clinging to what we think the relationship should be, or shouldn’t be. Our judgments and opinions. Our complaints. We can get very attached to the form of a relationship, and we must relinquish that.
In the relinquishment of that attachment, our mind is healed. That’s why relationships are the best tool the Higher Holy Spirit Self has for healing our mind and for our accepting the Atonement for ourselves.
If you’d like support as the Higher Holy Spirit Self does this work in your relationships, join us in Masterful Living, where we do this inner healing work step by step through the year.
Every relationship we have is a relationship with God, with Spirit, and with ourselves.
What would you like to let go of or expand into next year?
Would the support of a program like Masterful Living help you to realize your heart’s desire? I invite you to consider joining me in Masterful Living 2027 – registration is open and the sooner you join the more bonuses you get. We have so many bonuses! The next one is a workshop with me this Saturday, November 14.
Book a FREE Exploratory Call with a Quantum Counselor to get the answers to questions about Masterful Living or any of our programs. These counselors have taken the programs and so they can answer your questions.
MEN: I’m offering a 5 week class Father Brother Son specifically for men who are challenged by the men in their family. This will be a deeply healing program with homework for those who wish to achieve the greatest benefit. We’ll go deep and we’ll remember to laugh. 5 classes spread out over the next few months. Click here to learn more.
SUNDAY: Family Forgiveness – another FREE Forgiveness Workshop. The holidays are coming. Thanksgiving is only weeks away. Old resentments and family dynamics come up for healing during this last 2 months of the year. Holding onto grievances blocks our faith, trust, and capacity for Love, the only way to have more Love is to be more loving. We’ll do the healing work together.
LATEST PODCAST EPISODE: Resolving Your Anger. I explore why anger keeps coming back, no matter how well we manage it, cope with it, or talk ourselves out of it. If you’re tired of replaying the same upset and wondering why it still follows you, I share the word ACIM uses for what anger does. Imagine anger finally losing its grip on you.
