I found great healing in recognizing I actually have more Peace when I’m NOT in control.  And, of course, control is a delusion.

I mean, I was entrenched in being controlling. I was a former control freak, and I needed to always be right, and I needed to tell everybody what to do, and decide what was best for them. That was really my modus operandi—unfortunately, I was ruining my life through trying to control what can never be controlled.

Back in New York in the 80s

This was well before I found A Course in Miracles. Back when I lived in New York in the 80s. I had this realization of how miserable being a control freak was making me, and I remember thinking at the time, “They should have a 12-Step program for control freaks!” But then thinking about it another minute, I realized, “Oh, God! No! Who would run the meeting? How would that work? No, no, no, no, no! Control freaks have to go it alone!”

What Made a Difference for Me

Here’s what made a big difference in my happiness level: I realized I could learn to stop saying, “This is good.” “This is bad.” “This is right.” “This is wrong.”

I found I actually could be so much happier if I let other people decide what we’ll do and how we’ll do it.  I can be along for the ride without needing to control.

True, it might not be my favorite restaurant that we’re going to go to, or my favorite kind of food, but maybe I can have a learning experience. Maybe I can discover something I would otherwise not have discovered. Maybe I can just relax and enjoy.

There’s No Right or Wrong

With the holidays here, this is so relevant. We can get wrapped up into what’s right and what’s wrong in terms of doing Thanksgiving dinner, or having Thanksgiving dinner, or what should be done on Thanksgiving. I’ve done all kinds of things on Thanksgiving—just hung out by myself the entire day. I’ve definitely done that a couple of times, ate whatever I felt like, did whatever I felt like, meditated all day, all kinds of choices. I didn’t feel alone, I didn’t feel abandoned or left out, I could choose to just bless the day and be grateful.  Nothing’s wrong, but we can think that there is.

A Course in Miracles Chapter 12, Section III tells us: “If you have no investment in anything in this world, you can teach the poor where their treasure is.”

When we have no investment, we’re free. Free to Love. Free to serve. Free to be truly helpful.

Refusing to Be the Happy Learner

If you’re going to insist that someone’s right and someone’s wrong, then you’re refusing to be the happy learner. You’re refusing to align with the Holy Spirit and you’re reinforcing a sense of lack, attack, limitation and separation by your own free will choice.

It’s challenging! And it’s quickening our awakening when we’re willing to practice it.

The Power of Going Along

I’ve learned the power of going along with what seemed like outrageous requests—to do things like go visit someone and talk with someone, or look at something, or eat something, or try something, or do something that my initial ego reaction is, “No! Never! Not doing that!” But to say, “Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Here’s an opportunity to practice not being in opposition.”

You see, we don’t have to be in opposition. We don’t have to make it a bad, wrong, a sin in order to just say, “Meh, I don’t think so.” And then, we’re not in that place of opposition, insistence, refusal that is that ego battle.  It’s neutrality.  That’s where the Peace is.

What Peace Is Waiting for You?

This is what we practice in my Masterful Living Program – not just talking about it, but truly living A Course in Miracles day by day.

We lean to release control and find the peace that’s waiting on the other side.

As we head into a new year, what would it be like to release the need to control everything? What peace is waiting for you when you finally let go?

Join us in our Free Forgiveness Workshops and discover for yourself.

This is the heart of what we practice in my Masterful Living Program (which starts January 3rd) and in my Free Forgiveness Workshops—becoming happy learners together we give the heavy lifting to the Holy Spirit.

Join us in my Masterful Living Program in 2026 – this is where we’ll do this transformational work together. Or start with a FREE Forgiveness Workshop (next one is Sunday, Dec 7)  where you’ll learn the exact practices that can heal your heart and your life.

The patterns stop with us. If you’ve been carrying decades of pain in your relationships with your mother, daughter, or sister—the resentments that won’t let go, the silence that feels permanent, the wounds passed down through generations—this is your invitation to freedom. Join me for Mother, Daughter, Sister: Spiritual Healing for Ourselves, Our Family & the World, a powerful 4-part transformational series where we’ll work at the level of mind to heal what feels impossible to heal. I’ll share the same spiritual tools I used to transform my relationship with my mother before her transition—tools that create quantum healing because all minds are joined. When YOU are willing to change your mind about yourself, about them, about the past, miracles ripple through your whole family. You don’t need them to change, apologize, or even participate. Your willingness is enough. NOW STARTING Thursday, December 4th Let’s do this together. 💜

Masterful Living Program 2026 – Registration is open! The sooner you register the more bonuses you get!  Click here now to learn more.

NEW ACIM PODCAST EPISODE:   The Night Gratitude Saved My Life, In this Thanksgiving week episode, I dive deep into Lesson 195, “Love is the way I walk in gratitude,” sharing how gratitude became my game-changer long before I found A Course in Miracles. I tell the story of how I learned there’s no way to wish punishment on another without experiencing it myself because we’re in “instant karma time.” True gratitude makes no comparisons and no exceptions—we’re grateful for ALL because we’re separate from no living thing, and when our forgiveness is complete, we’ll have total gratitude, seeing that everything has earned the right to love by being loving.