So many people ask me about how to improve their relationships. Here are three specific insights and practices that have REALLY helped me to improve ALL my relationships – and in doing so, improve my whole life!
Part 1: (You Are Here) How to Stop Attracting Negative Relationships
Part 2: Are You Giving to Get
Part 3: Take 100% Responsibility
It’s helpful to know that all relationships can be improved by following some simple guidelines. One thing that really helped me is to understand that all HEALTHY relationships are fundamentally based on the same premise – we’re helping each other to be more our true selves.
Being more our TRUE selves, means being more compassionate, loving, kind, harmonious, creative, wise, radiant, joyful, healthy, and feeling free, plus a whole lot more. In a real sense, all relationships are our relationship with Spirit, the oneness, the unity of all life. All relationships are actually a means of our relating with ourselves too.
Approaching each relationship as though you’re relating to your GodSelf is a good way to begin. This is why Jesus said, “what you do to the least of them, you do to me.” He understood that all is one. If you treat one person poorly, including yourself, it affects the whole, because all are joined in the one mind.
Is there anyone that you give yourself permission to treat badly?
Is there anyone you feel doesn’t deserve your respect and kindness?
Is there anyone you feel is better or worse than you?
These are important inquiries to make. The answers will help support you in having better relationships with everyone in your life. If you find yourself judging and criticizing the people around you, you could benefit from a simple relationship tip that really made a difference for me.
One of the most common ways of approaching relationships that creates difficulty is that we play favorites and have special treatment for some, but not for others. It’s totally understandable. However, if that special treatment comes from thinking that anyone is better or worse, then we’re actually investing in separation beliefs of worthiness and unworthiness and eventually that will lead to some kind of suffering.
When we give ourselves permission to treat some people badly we’re always going to feel some guilt, some shame and some unworthiness as a result.
Is guilt, shame and unworthiness really what you’re interested in experiencing more of?
You might say no,
BUT if you habitually give yourself permission to treat people poorly, even the telemarketer, or “obnoxious” sales person,
then you must, on some level, conscious or unconscious, be setting yourself up to feel the guilt, shame and unworthiness that ALWAYS accompanies our giving ourselves permission to attack another. One simple trick stopped me from going on the attack and making things worse for myself.
Because, when you attack others and you’ll feel attacked. The attacker always feels vulnerable and attacked. The judger always feels judged and afraid. The lover always feels beloved of God, safe and lovable.
Do you ever wonder if God loves you?
Do you feel unworthy of Love?
Doesn’t it make sense that if you give yourself permission to attack your neighbor, your brother, your sister, even your most precious loved one, that you feel you deserve to be attacked?
Do you know how the attack most commonly shows up? It shows up as feeling afraid, unworthy, unlovable. You may not realize you’re choosing it. Instead, you may blame others who are blaming, attacking and shaming you – but they couldn’t do that unless you started it.
The good news is – since you started it – you can put an end to it.
How?
Apologize to anyone you’ve attacked.
Forgive yourself for having attacked.
Release the judgments you hold against yourself for being unworthy of Love.
Have you made a mess of your relationships?
Are you upset with yourself for how you’ve behaved?
My Simple Fight Fixer will help you stop yourself before you make a mess of things.
As soon as you really give up the right to attack anyone, including yourself, you’ll notice that you feel more lovable, more worthy of Love and more inspired to Love.
Inspired to love – isn’t that a great way to live?
Go for it!
Click here to get my Simple Fight Fixer and see how it can work for you!
If you’re finding what I’m sharing to be helpful won’t you please share at facebook and twitter to let others know? Thank you!
