The other day, I spent 10 hours at the Newark airport trying to get a flight to Atlanta. My original 8 a.m. flight was cancelled the day before, but I didn’t know this because the whole Delta Airlines system went down, including their notification system.
Oddly, when I checked in at the airport, they assumed that I knew my flight had been cancelled. Even though I was there at 6:30 a.m., they checked me in for a flight that was leaving at 11:30 a.m. – 5 hours later, without mentioning to me that I was being put on a different flight than what I’d bought. Somehow, they didn’t think it was odd that I was showing up 5 hours early for my flight. My original flight was a 2-hour flight. They re-booked me through Cincinnati for a total travel time of 7 hours. I thought all this was pretty odd, but it was just the beginning.
10 hours after I had arrived at the airport on Tuesday, I finally gave up trying to get on a flight that day. I had been bumped so many times and the current flight I was on standby, had been delayed 3 times and was now delayed a full 5 hours. I had totally missed my two events that day.
When something like this happens, I could be upset. Many people were upset. For me, it was just one of those days where I don’t know what anything is for. Clearly, a lot of people were learning things. I was able to be helpful to a number of people who were upset. I was helpful simply by not being upset and being compassionate. I felt that, in a VERY real sense, I was there to hold the light.
I decided not to try to fly on Wednesday and give it another day before going to Atlanta for my weekend of events including 3 workshops (join me!). On the plane yesterday (I did get upgraded to 1st class, which was nice), I sat next to a “born again,” “saved,” southern baptist christian. We ended up talking for 2 straight hours. We had some different perspectives on things and we talked about them.
He believed in sin, and I do not.
He believes that making people feel guilty about their sins could possibly save them from sinning some more, and I feel that guilt only drives people to more painful beliefs and behaviors.
He believes that you can judge the people you Love and that it’s a necessary part of life, I believe that Love and judgment are opposites.
We had a lot more differences in beliefs and understandings. It was a lively conversation. He really wanted to prove he was right, which I certainly understand.
I let him know that my main aspiration in the conversation was to support him in seeing that judging isn’t loving and “making” people feel guilty is not what Jesus taught. He taught forgiveness. Forgiveness and judgment are opposites. Guilt and forgiveness are opposites. Shaming people and loving them are opposites. However, it’s not so easy to see if that’s not how you’re raised.
I began to feel that the reason I had been delayed on Tuesday and switched to the flight on Thursday was to sit next to this man and talk with him. You never know how the ripples that are caused by being compassionate will flow. He had been utterly convinced that judging was essential to living a moral life. By the end of our conversation, he could see that judging wasn’t loving and maybe it wasn’t the moral high ground, maybe forgiveness was. That was a big shift in only 2 hours.
I didn’t make it my job to shift him. I can’t shift anyone but myself. I did make it my response-ability to love him and hold that he had the capacity to see the Truth that sets him free.
I could feel that he yearned for the Truth. People will settle for thinking they’re right and abandon the search for the Truth. That’s an easy one because the Truth can seem hard to find.
Fortunately the Truth is written in our hearts and that doesn’t ever change. When we’re searching for the Truth we don’t have far to go. Phew!
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