Picture a single parent working two jobs so their child can go to college. Evenings, weekends, moonlighting. Every spare dollar set aside for tuition.

We’d call that a sacrifice. Many people would call it the purest form of love.

Here’s the question I’d like us to sit with: is it actually a sacrifice?

The parent is making a choice. They’re doing that work because it feels good to give their child a better life. They’d like to give that gift. That’s their choice, freely made.

A Course in Miracles tells us: “Learn now that sacrifice of any kind is nothing but a limitation imposed on giving.”

Let’s let’s live without limitation.

Instead of simply giving because Love is calling them to give, the parent mentally turns it into a sacrifice. I’m giving something up. I’m going without. I’m doing this for you.

The moment that happens, something else slips into the gift.

It’s guilt.

Both the giver and the receiver feel it. The child carries a sense of burden. Maybe the child never asked for any of it, and still they feel they owe something they can never repay. The parent carries it too, often as quiet resentment or regret about everything they gave up.

Why add guilt into the mix? It doesn’t need to be there. The work is the same. The tuition is the same. The only thing that changes is how we hold it in our mind.  In many instances this is taught generation to generation, but it can stop with us.

When we hold our giving as a choice made with our whole heart, it’s a gift.

When we hold it as a sacrifice, it becomes a debt that both people carry.

This is so freeing to see. Let’s partner with our Higher Holy Spirit Self and ask gently, “Where am I holding this idea of sacrifice?”

It could be with our children. It could be with our parents. It could be at work, putting in the overtime and resenting the hours away from family. Maybe it’s with friends. Resentment and regret are always the clues.

Wherever it is, we can choose again. We can let the gift simply be a gift, given with a full heart and received with an open one.

If you’d like support releasing the guilt that’s been wrapped up in your giving, my I’d love to invite you join me for my How to Love Freely Deep Dive Workshop this Saturday, October 3.  Love is our healer and we can allow more Love into our life and heart.  It’s easier than we think.

LATEST PODCAST EPISODE: Make No Decisions by Yourself So many of us carefully choose our days and still end them feeling disappointed. We weigh the options, even ask for guidance, and then the answer feels wrong. A student’s breakthrough and a friend’s reminder brought me back to Chapter 30, Section I of A Course in Miracles. You’ll discover what a neighbor home from the hospital and a party that fell flat reveal, why a small tightening in my stomach mattered, and the surprising reason inner guidance can feel like an attack.