Not one of us just wants to suffer, do we?

I’m kidding of course!  Many are actively choosing to suffer.  There’s more than one reason we might choose this:

The way I see it, a lot of the suffering we choose for ourselves is a punishment.

Sometimes we choose to suffer in order to punish others.  VERY often our suffering is intended to inflict guilt on others and sometimes it’s to get sympathy from them.

Of course, it’s insane to choose to suffer in order to make others feel guilty, but that’s a strong motivation from the ego mindset.

We also choose to suffer in order to punish ourselves – at the level of the personality.

Punishment is a detour and a distraction.  It’s a misuse of our energy and it only brings more suffering.  As it says in A Course in Miracles, our loving Creator never punishes, but offers correction.  We can live that way too.  It’s how I work with my Bodhi.  She’s a dog, so she does things I wish she didn’t, but I don’t punish her because that would make her afraid of me.

Instead of just having a loving relationship, we manipulate each other with pain and suffering through guilt, blame and shame.

Resentment is like a crowbar – we can use it to threaten and to move people.

When we’re disconnected from our loving heart, we use pain to manipulate and control because we feel it’s the only power we have.  This is something I did a lot of personal research on.  It was my “go to” form of relating to other people.  It’s debilitating and pushes people away.

And that’s what I secretly wanted to do: push everyone away.  They were bringing up my stuff for healing and I was resisting it.

Then we feel alone.  But it makes sense to us because we feel unworthy.  It seems to prove what we believe, but all it actually proves is that we believe we’re unworthy of Love.

And that’s the nature of the habit of taking offense.  

It blocks Love, it makes the lack of Love seem real.

No matter what, all are worthy of Love and compassion.

We must never forget that because it is our way out of the hell of this world.

There is no OTHER way out of hell.

Love and compassion are the ONLY way,

because it’s lack of Love,

being expressed by us,

that causes the feeling of hell.

All are worthy of Love.

How can we fulfill our purpose, which is to be “truly helpful” while withholding Love or punish people for their missteps?  Those patters of behavior and thought cannot succeed.  The ends is in the means.

I record a new prayer every day.  I’ve been doing that for nearly 20 years.  Let’s pray to be more willing.  Prayer is so powerful, please join me in my daily Prayer for Today – today’s prayer is for Life Without Suffering.  You can click and listen now.  We use technology to transcend time and space and deepen our spiritual practice.

I am grateful for this path of healing that we’re on and our ability to cultivate a spiritual practice that lifts us up above the battleground!  Onward and upward, together we rise in Love!

DEEP DIVE WORKSHOP:   Cultivating Self-Love for Relationship Healing One of the hardest things we deal with is the pain of a failing relationship. We recognize our part in it and we make the meaning of the failure that we are a failure at life itself. We often conclude that we’re unlovable. ALL of that can be turned around and undone – if we’re willing. That’s why I’m offering this workshop just in time for Valentine’s Day – make it a gift to yourself! Register now – Cultivating Self-Love for Relationship Healing

NEXT Free Forgiveness Workshops are Saturday, February 1st and Sunday, February 2nd – Join me!  Let’s do this deep work and have a healing together.  Let’s lighten our load as we launch into the new year.  Now’s the time!  Free sounds good, right?  Invite a friend!  Register now and I’ll see you then!  Click here now to register for FREE!