To be happy in this life, we have to learn to live without strong attachments.

We learn to wear our preferences lightly. We stop labeling things good or bad, right or wrong in order to remain peaceful. No cravings, no aversions, training our mind to hold things with neutrality – that’s how we live happily and peacefully.

I make an effort not to have any attachments to how things are, while still being able to be clear about what I prefer. I have preferences, but if I don’t get them met, I’m ok with that.

Preferences are different from opinions, sometimes, but not always. I give the example that I prefer vanilla to chocolate most of the time. Chocolate isn’t really my thing, but I don’t think it’s bad or wrong. I don’t believe that people who prefer chocolate are less than me.

If there’s chocolate cake and vanilla cake I’ll usually take the vanilla cake. If there’s chocolate ice cream and vanilla ice cream, I’ll take the vanilla. If there’s only chocolate, I’m not interested.

I like chocolate chip ice cream, but I’m not wild about chocolate chip cookies, unless I make them myself which I rarely do. I have no opinions about chocolate and vanilla, but I do have a preference.

Still, I feel it’s really valuable to know what you like and be willing to hold the space for yourself to have it without attachment.

I like to enjoy life without guilt, blame or shame. In fact, it’s the only way that we really can enjoy life. I know many people who believe that if things aren’t the way they think they should be they cannot be happy. That’s attachment.

Buddha taught us that all attachments cause suffering. Opinions and judgments are basically the same thing. They all cause our suffering and then we blame it on the world.

Seek not to change the world but to change your mind about the world. That’s A Course in Miracles – and that’s the pathway to happiness.

Without forgiveness there is no happiness. 

Join me today!