In my life, I’ve met SO MANY people who have trouble saying no. I’ve realized that this is a constant issue for many people that brings a lot of challenges. Maybe it’s your issue. Do you say yes to things that you really don’t want to have anything to do with?
Most people have at least a bit of the people pleaser in their personality.
Spiritual students sometimes have a lot of people pleasing going on.
Yet, being a people pleaser is inauthentic. And it leads to all kinds of other issues that make our life heavy and unhappy.
One thing that many people don’t even realize is that people pleasing and saying yes when we really mean no, is actually quite manipulative. This is the essence of co-dependency.
When we say yes, and we don’t really mean it, aren’t we actually being deceitful in someway?
I know I feel that I’m not being truthful when I’ve done it. And I usually resent the other folks even though I’m the one that decided to do something I don’t really feel like doing. Ugh.
None of that thinking and behavior is Self-loving or Self-honoring – and by Self, I mean the Higher Holy Spirit Self – the Real Self. In some ways, it feels quite self-punishing.
When we’re people pleasing we’re presenting a false self. Aren’t we hiding and masquerading?
If we’re not being real, can anyone actually see us or Love us?
What if the reason we don’t feel loved is because people can’t actually see our true self because we won’t let them?
What if we’re always presenting a false self that we believe is more appealing because we think our REAL self is not good enough. Why? Because we don’t cultivate a connection with our actual Real Self.
What if the reason we don’t feel lovable is because we’re being deceitful? AND we think we’re being deceitful because we don’t feel lovable. It’s a hamster wheel.
I’d rather get better at saying “no, thank you” and know who really loves me, and who’s just tolerating me because I go along with them. Wouldn’t you?
If this topic interests you, you might be interested in a Facebook live video I did year’s ago. I hope you find it helpful!
Are you ready to stop playing small? I’m offering an online retreat that starts on September 5. It’s one of the most effective and successful things I’ve done. People repeat it 3 and 4 times because they get so much out of it. If you feel like you might be playing small in some area of your life – this could be your breakthrough! Plan for your success and we’ll do it together – click here to learn more about the Stop Playing Small Online Retreat in September. It’s on Early Bird Special right now!
Latest ACIM PODCAST EPISODE: my topic is You ARE the Treasure: Why God Values You Above Everything Else. Exploring “The Treasure of God” from A Course in Miracles Chapter 8, I share the profound revelation that WE are God’s only treasure – not money or worldly things, but us. Through Jesus’s retelling of the prodigal son story and my reflection on how movies like The Matrix, Star Wars, and Lord of the Rings all feature “savior of the world” themes, I realized we’re all meant to be saviors through joining with the Holy Spirit and seeing Christ in everyone. The key to moving from confusion to clarity is accepting that EVERYONE is equally valuable to God – from the worst person imaginable to Mother Teresa – and understanding that God’s will is our will, there’s no separation. Our function is to create and extend love in whatever form that takes, whether cooking a meal or teaching a class, and when we accept our true value as God’s treasure, we can finally live in the peace and freedom that is our birthright!
