Remember the band “Rage Against the Machine”? Well, this post doesn’t have anything to do with that band, but the title came to me as a good one. I’m feeling so much more free than I’ve ever felt before, and I remember that I used to feel a tremendous rage. It felt like a bottomless pit of anger and upset – deep hurt underneath.
When the anger hit me, it would feel like it overtook me, and it felt like I was the rage. It felt like I actually was a dark, angry, red hot swirling mass of attack, violence, exploding and imploding at the very same time. It was so completely overwhelming and terrifying, and I felt so helpless in the midst of it.
For a long time, I was identified with the anger.
I thought the anger was me.
I had no idea what the Truth is.
After an episode of anger, I would feel the most horrible hangover of pain, suffering, and self-recrimination. It was so toxic. And yet the anger was, in a sense, so necessary. It was so much better than the alternative – to keep it all inside.
On a regular basis, I speak with people who are reaching out to me because they are spiraling down into a depression. What they don’t realize is that their thought is causing that spiral down. They can change their thought. A Course in Miracles tells us that depression is the result of believing we’re deprived of something we want, and yet no one can deprive us but ourselves. Hmm…
For a long time, my identification was with “an angry person.” Rather than feeling deprived and depressed, I chose to be upset and agitated and to take it out on others rather than myself.
I’ve learned a lot since then. I’ve learned that, “I AM Love,” not anger. I rarely feel anger or hurt, but I still feel annoyed and frustrated, and I’m not willing to settle for “mostly” peaceful, I’m going for 100%. I’m so glad the past is over because I remember all too well that I never thought it would be because I was dredging it up every day.
Hold the vision of your life and your self as free and it will come to BE!
How do we get there? Forgive and forgive and forgive some more!
TODAY is my Sacred Circle day! This is my monthly membership program that gives you a weekly call of group spiritual counseling. Join my Sacred Circle and you can ask me any question you would like on the phone, online, or in writing! I love it! We have an awesome group of people who are doing the deep work! Try my Sacred Circle for a month and see! 4 spiritual counseling calls with me each month – ask me any question!
RADIO SHOW: On my radio show yesterday my topic was: Compassionate Listening. You can click here to get the download at iTunes or Stitcher for Androids. All the previous episodes are free at iTunes right now! You can subscribe to the podcast and get the show every week automatically. On your phone, iPod, or computer. Check it out! And if you enjoy the radio show, will you please write a review so more people find the show? Thank you!
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