In this lifetime I’m choosing to awaken. And once I decided that was my focus, something powerful came into my awareness. I was ready for it. I was ready to see the truth that set me free.
I wasn’t choosing self-sabotage and self-abuse because there was something wrong with me. No, I was choosing it to slow down my spiritual growth and keep me identified with the ego, the body, and playing small in general.
I’d always assumed the opposite. I thought self-sabotage was about punishment, about hurting myself, about some broken part of me that enjoyed the damage. That’s not the mechanism at all. The mechanism is delay. Every pattern of self-abuse is doing one job, which is putting the brakes on our awakening and letting pain drive the bus.
A Course in Miracles names this plainly:
“Delay is of the ego, because time is its concept.”
Once I understood that self-sabotage was there to counteract my spiritual growth, to get my growth under the ego’s control, I said, “heck no.”
That’s when I began offering up the many, many patterns of self-sabotage and self-abuse to the Holy Spirit for healing. And that’s when my rapid healing began.
Notice what actually shifted, because it wasn’t my willpower. It was my understanding of what the pattern was for. When I saw that truth, it freed my mind. When I’d believed self-sabotage was about pain, I fought it with pain management, coping, and behavior modification. Once I saw it was about delay, the whole thing became a spiritual matter.
All self-abuse is self-sabotage. The food, the alcohol, the isolating, the doubt, the blame – the pointless relationships that were just about filling time. Different costumes, identical job description. All of it.
Here’s what’s actually true. We’re not bound in time and space. We’re eternal beings, one with the one, and we do have the ability to listen to the voice of the Holy Spirit. So why would we ever hold in our minds that awakening takes many, many lifetimes UNLESS we were choosing delay? Hello?
I’m not interested in that thinking anymore.
If you’re noticing your own patterns and something in you is saying it’s time, my End My Self-Sabotage program is six weeks beginning Sunday, July 26. We get real with ourselves about what’s actually going on, and we do it together. We have a great group – and we’ll remember to laugh. I promise.
We’re letting Spirit drive the bus.
My End My Self-Sabotage program is six weeks of getting real with ourselves about what’s really going on – and doing it together.
Sometimes when we become overwhelmed and upset by what we think we see we find ways to drown out the intensity of our reactions. We fall into various forms of self-medication and self-sabotage. I know a lot about that. And that’s why I created this program to rise up out of that pain.
End My Self-Sabotage 6-Week Program begins Sunday, July 26th. Self-sabotage is designed to slow down our spiritual growth. But what if I told you that we can dissolve that pattern? When you recognize the pattern, you can interrupt it. And when you interrupt it with Love instead of willpower, everything changes. I used to struggle with self-medication and other forms of self-sabotage, but that’s behind me now – if you can relate – let’s do it together! Click here to learn more.
LATEST PODCAST EPISODE: Learning to Trust Yourself with Author Tama Kieves My friend Tama Kieves wrote the book on trust I wish I’d had years ago. She’s a Harvard Law honors graduate who walked away from her law career with no plan and no money, following a single voice toward the life that was actually hers. We sat down to talk about her new book, Learning to Trust Yourself, and the thing nearly every A Course in Miracles student wrestles with: how do we tell the voice of love from the voice of fear?
