I can specifically think of one relationship that really helped me see something I wasn’t ready to see: I didn’t have strong enough self-esteem, and I would compromise myself in order to be in that connection.

I didn’t have to. And he didn’t make me. This was my choice and my decision.

He came into my life to help me see what I was willing to compromise. And then I felt betrayed when the relationship didn’t turn out to be what I hoped it would be.

But who betrayed whom?

I betrayed myself by compromising and not having the quality of relationship that I really desired. I wasn’t a vibrational match for it.

I didn’t have enough self-love to be in the relationship I really wished to be in.

Here’s something I’ve seen over and over in counseling: someone says, “I’d really like to be in a romantic partnership.”Great! So what are the qualities you’d like in that partner?

“Oh, I’d like someone who loves themselves. Someone with integrity. Someone who’s fun, financially responsible, free and available for commitment.”

Okay – so would that person look at you and go, “Ah, there’s my match”? Would they see those same things going on with you?  Are you a vibrational match?

And a lot of times people say, “No, I guess not.”

Sigh. I SURELY have been in that place myself.

We’re going to attract someone who helps us become even more our best self. They’re going to help us meet our spiritual goals. And that’s really a holy relationship.

A Course in Miracles tells us our brothers and sisters are the very best help we have in this illusion. They’re the best help we have to wake up and to recognize Love is the only thing that’s real.

So the person who “betrayed” us? They showed us where we were willing to make a deal with our integrity. Where we were willing to trust people we knew weren’t trustworthy.

And that’s why we’re mad at ourselves and projecting it out as a grievance.

If you’ve got some of this going on, join my FREE Forgiveness Workshop tomorrow, Sunday and we’ll work it out together.

In my Masterful Living Program, we do this deep self-honesty work together – becoming a vibrational match for the Love we truly desire. And my Letting Go of A Person Deep Dive Workshop next Saturday, March 21 is the perfect space to release that one person and reclaim our integrity.

Let’s stop blaming them and start loving ourselves.

We can do this!