“I’m doing this for you because I love you.”
It sounds so lovely. Yet sometimes a gift labeled with love lands in our heart as guilt. It feels heavy. It feels like a bill we’ll be paying for years.
A gift that feels like guilt is a burden to receive. It’s not much of a gift, is it?
That’s how the ego’s gifts always are. They come with strings attached: guilt, blame, shame, regret, resentment, hurt, doubt, fear, and worry. So many strings! The ego never gives freely. It gives to get.
One of the things I frequently see in families is that parents are doing for and giving to their children with expectations. How you would know if that’s you is that you would have some resentment that you’re not being properly appreciated.
If you’re giving to get you will feel unappreciated and/or manipulated. It always seems to work that way, but here’s the thing:
YOU are the one manipulating by giving in order to try to get something, or some appreciation, in return.
We can’t buy Love, and we can’t trade for it either. We can’t manipulate people to care for us – that’s co-dependency and it’s super toxic. It’s poisons our relationships and then we don’t trust Love.
Many of us are giving to get without even knowing it. We expect appreciation. We expect recognition. We expect something in return. That expectation is the string, and it’s why the idea of sacrifice follows so closely behind it. We’re giving, but with the expectation, it actually becomes a block to Love and that pushes people away.
A Course in Miracles explains exactly what’s happening: “Guilt cannot last when the idea of sacrifice has been removed. For if there is sacrifice, someone must pay and someone must get.”
Someone must pay and someone must get. That’s the whole economy of the ego thought system. Love becomes a transaction, and every transaction leaves a ledger behind. A scorecard.
Love has no ledger. It doesn’t keep score.
Love simply extends because it’s infinite supply and can’t run out.
Here’s the way to break free: we don’t have to cut all those strings on our own. We can let the Higher Holy Spirit Self do the heavy lifting. Bring every gift you’ve given with an expectation, and every gift you’ve received with an obligation, and offer them up to Spirit be released. You can set both yourself and the other person free – you can set yourself free FROM that other person pulling on you.
Simply say to our Higher Holy Spirit Self, “I’m willing to give without expectation and receive without obligation. Please cut every string of guilt from the gifts in my life. I’d like to know Love as it really is.”
When we do this, we free the people we love from carrying our gifts as debts. We also free ourselves to receive what others would like to give us, with open hands and an open heart. It’s so important to focus on becoming receptive, welcoming.
Everything comes from God, so let’s open to receive the gifts of God today and every day.
The Infinite Creator is pouring out a blessing for us always, and it never comes with a bill attached. We’re worthy of receiving every gift.
If you’d like to go deeper into giving and receiving with no strings attached, I’d love to have you join me for my How to Love Freely Deep Dive Workshop, where we’ll release the guilt that’s been hiding inside our gifts.
Love carries no guilt. We can learn to Love without conditions, without strings, without expectations and then we’re liberating ourselves from playing small, living in lack and limitation at all levels.
How to Love Freely Deep Dive Workshop this Saturday, October 3 where we’ll practice letting go of the blocks to Love together! Click here now for more info.
LATEST PODCAST EPISODE: Make No Decisions by Yourself So many of us carefully choose our days and still end them feeling disappointed. We weigh the options, even ask for guidance, and then the answer feels wrong. A student’s breakthrough and a friend’s reminder brought me back to Chapter 30, Section I of A Course in Miracles. You’ll discover what a neighbor home from the hospital and a party that fell flat reveal, why a small tightening in my stomach mattered, and the surprising reason inner guidance can feel like an attack.
