When I was in my 20’s I lived in Manhattan in a big four bedroom apartment on the Upper West Side. 98th and Broadway. I had three roommates, and over the years I lived there a couple of roommates came and went and some stayed the same. I had one roommate who got really upset when things were a bit messy. He thought things ought to be really neat and tidy all of the time. I more or less agreed with him (especially since roaches and mice were an actual issue living in the heart of NYC), and yet we had so many arguments and conversations about who was right.
Back then, I was beginning to learn about non-judgment. I had already been living with my best friend for four years, so I knew what it was like to live with roommates. We don’t always agree. People raised in the same way, in the same household often don’t agree either. Roommates, whether it’s platonic or not, can create a plethora of issues of differences.
What’s it all for? Mind training.
Will you need to be right?
Will you judge?
Will you let people dictate to you how you’re to live?
Will you be manipulated or will you be the manipulator?
Will you silently hold a grudge?
Will you give the cold shoulder treatment or will you learn compassionate communication?
This is how we learn to remember our true identity is perfect Love.
Learning to live together, especially with people who are very challenging, is one of the essential steps on the path of awakening. When this particular learning comes, you can welcome it, because the result of fully embracing and accepting the lesson is profound healing at the level of the mind which then translates to every area of your life for the rest of your life. WOW! Talk about benefits!
I remember asking my neater roommate the same question I used to ask myself: “why does someone else have to live to your standard just because you like things cleaner than they do?”
Why?
It’s expectations, which are attachments. Attachment is judgment, which leads to blame, shame, anger, hurt, resentment and nothing good. Expectations are often disappointments and resentments waiting to happen. Enough!
Living without attachments is the path of happiness, but you can’t pretend you have no attachments, because that’s actually being a liar and a fake. This is how we remember to wake up.
What about being able to authentically say to a roommate or loved one:
I’m struggling with something and I’d like your help.
I’ve got judgments about the way things “should” be done, and I know they’re just opinions, but I’m having a challenge with letting them go. Will you talk about this with me to help me get beyond them and into a more loving space?
You’d be surprised at how much people appreciate authenticity and vulnerability – if you really mean it and you’re not just manipulating them to get your way – you’ll be grateful that the healing that can happen! Give it a try!
We’re waking up together and I’m so grateful for that! If you’re finding what I’m sharing to be helpful won’t you please share at facebook and twitter to let others know? Thank you!
