Why do we have a tendency to think the worst of people instead of the best?

Alright so, with some people we actually do think the best of them – but it’s in a co-dependent way.

We make excuses for the person who’s letting us down because we don’t really wish to realize that we’re not that important to them.  Yes, that happens.

I’ve found that sometimes my thoughts go to thinking the worst of people when, in fact, it’s pure speculation.  For example, they don’t call when they say they will, they don’t do what they say they’ll do, they don’t pay attention, or keep their agreements.  It’s a bummer.  It’s disappointing.  It’s annoying and frustrating.  And what is the meaning that we choose to make of it?

“If they really cared about me they’d do this differently.”

“If I were a worthwhile person they wouldn’t treat me this way.”

“They’re an idiot and they don’t deserve my patience.”

Etc.

How often does our mind go to compassion? “I hope they’re okay.  Maybe something’s happened to cause them to behave this way.”  

Most of us, when we feel insecure, we attack.  We attack ourselves and we attack others.  We go through huge bouts of self-recrimination and then blaming others.  

Of course, none of that is helpful.  

It feels compulsive.  

The antidote is to cultivate the compassionate, loving heart.  

Yes, sometimes people aren’t smart, sometimes they’re not paying attention, and sometimes they don’t care.  And that’s why they do what they do, but no matter what, it’s not personal.  Even when it seems to be an intentional disregard, we don’t need to take it personally.

When I’ve been intentionally hurtful to people in my past, it wasn’t ever because of them – it was always because of me and my crazy thinking.  Even if they were behaving terribly and I treated them poorly, they still didn’t deserve it.

Everyone deserves my best.

This world would be an entirely different place if we could stop taking things personally.  And we can.  It’s been so healing to my mind to cultivate a compassionate heart.  The fastest path to that loving heart is self-forgiveness.  A Course in Miracles tells us that forgiveness offers everything we need, and I feel certain that’s true.  

With so, spiritual practices of cultivating compassion instead of being offended – we can increase our Peace and happiness to an amazing degree – isn’t that more rewarding than taking things personally?  Of course it is.  Our willingness is all that’s required.

I’ve got several things coming up you may find fun and helpful:

• Forgiveness Retreat in the NY Catskills November 9 to 12 – this is an absolute BARGAIN – only 497. Plus a great rate on lodging and meals! CHECK IT OUT!
• Spiritual Counseling Training Intensive in the NY Catskills November 13 to 19.
  If you’re interested in the training, consider coming to the Forgiveness Retreat too to have a MAJOR shift and a big discount!

If you feel you’ve been holding yourself back and letting fear decide, this might be your answered prayer! If it’s right for you, you’ll know.  Trust your intuition!

Not sure if one of my programs is right for you? You’re invited to schedule a free Exploratory Call with one of our certified spiritual counselors to get your questions answered and see if this program can bring you the results YOU would like!

LATEST PODCAST EPISODE! The most recent episode of my podcast’s topic is The Undoing of Fear. Fear is the direct result of how we choose to see the world. The Holy Spirit can undo our perception if we’re willing. In this episode, Jennifer shares how to undo the habit of fear, and to more quickly wake up to the truth of the Love that we are. It’s not hard. Living in fear is hard.