I’ve changed so much and I’m extremely grateful that I found the way to change my thinking and my life.  I used to be enmeshed in a particular cycle of self-sabotage: getting upset and staying upset.

I’d fan the flames of my upset with thoughts of my righteousness.

This came in especially strongly when I felt one of my loved ones had been attacked or wronged.

I’d feel that protector energy come up in me like a big fire of defending the innocent.

“You can do what you like regarding me. You can say what you like regarding me. Yet you cannot speak unkindly or hurtfully towards someone I love. I will not tolerate that.”

Sound familiar?

That defending-the-innocent energy felt so righteous. So justified. So good.

Here’s what helped me see things correctly: when we feel righteous, that’s a clue we’re not in our right mind.

That feeling of certainty that I knew who was right and who was wrong, that I was the one who had to defend them, that they couldn’t speak that way to my loved one – all of it was self-sabotage dressed up in heroic clothing.

I was fanning the flames of upset. I was staying upset. I was building my entire mood on a foundation of being correct about someone else being incorrect.

There are so many ways we do this.

We can fan the flames of anger. We can fan the flames of sadness – oh, it’s so sad. So sad. So sad. We can fan the flames of disappointment, hurt, disillusionment and despair.

The mechanism is always the same.

We get upset, we stay upset, and we keep finding reasons to be upset.

That’s the cycle.

Here’s what I’ve come to know: when we get upset, that’s not the end of the moment. That’s the beginning of a choice. We can fan the flames, or we can hand the upset over.

Higher Holy Spirit Self, please heal my mind.

I’d like to release this.

That simple willingness ends the cycle.

If you’d like to transform your thinking with the support of a community of like-minded souls, my FREE Forgiveness Workshops this weekend are Saturday and Sunday, June 20-21, Father’s Day weekend. Free. Just come as you are.

We’re done fanning the flames.

Self-sabotage shows up in so many ways. For some of us it’s procrastination, putting off the very thing that would help us most. For others it’s playing small, holding back our gifts, getting in our own way right when things start going well, or being so hard on ourselves that nothing we do ever feels good enough. And for many of us it’s self-medication, reaching for food, a drink, the phone, or busyness to escape how we’re feeling. The forms are endless, but here’s what I’ve come to know: it’s never really about the behavior, it’s about the beliefs underneath it, and those we can heal at the root. That’s why I’d love for you to join me for my End My Self-Sabotage Challenge, beginning Sunday, June 28. We’ll bring these patterns out of the dark and into the Light together, in a community where there’s no judgment, only Love. The first week is my gift to you, so come and experience it for yourself. Trust your intuition. If it’s right for you right now, you’ll know.

IN-PERSON EVENT – Quantum Counseling Training Intensive in July – If you have an interest in training to be a spiritual counselor or simply doing some dealing work to open up your intuition and improve your relationships, I’ve been offering a professional training intensive for the last 15 years. This year we’re doing the training intensive – open to anyone whether or not you have any interest in becoming a counselor – the Quantum Counseling Training Intensive in Asheville NC Sunday, July 12th to Saturday, July 18th with Jennifer Hadley and Mark Anthony Lord, as well as Guest Teachers Alan Cohen, Jon Mundy and Lisa Natoli joining us online – register soon so you can qualify for early-bird bonuses please click here now for more info.

THIS WEEKEND – 2 Free Forgiveness Workshops, Saturday, June 20th & Sunday, June 21st Father’s Day weekend. Please join me and we’ll have a deep and profound healing together. Feel free to invite friends and loved ones. Save My Spot – Free Forgiveness Workshop

LATEST PODCAST EPISODE:  We Don’t Have to Suffer  For years, I’d say I believed in God, then in the same breath I’d also believe someone was a sinner, or that I was being punished. Many of us do this. We don’t notice the contradiction because everyone we know carries it too. Then we wonder why we feel judged, why joy keeps slipping, why depression sneaks in. This week I sat with A Course in Miracles, Text Chapter 10, the section on the Denial of God. What if the door we’ve been knocking on, we’ve also been holding shut?