Guilt and shame almost seem to be two sides of the same coin. When there’s guilt, there’s usually shame and when there’s shame there’s often guilt. Shame comes from judgment and guilt is also an opinion, and in both cases the thinking is stinking.
Many people feel guilty for a variety of reasons. Guilt is like a wet, toxic blanket on their life and their energy field. Let’s get rid of it!
Guilt isn’t really my thing. When I was a kid, my grandmother would often try to make me feel guilty in order to manipulate me and I learned to throw that off. I developed a teflon coating for guilt. It still comes up from time to time, and I’ve learned a lot about how to let guilt go.
The number one way to release the guilt is to not put guilt on anyone else. It’s like I say all the time:
the judger always feels judged
the attacker always feels attacked
the lover always feels beloved
Let’s add: the guilt-er always feels guilty (and secretly ashamed)
Which would you like to feel? Guilty or Beloved? You’re in charge of your choices, so why choose to feel guilty and ashamed when you could feel Beloved?
You may be trying to make people feel guilty and perhaps not even be aware of it. When you’re upset, if you feel in ANY WAY that it’s someone else’s fault and you tell them you’re upset – you’re probably, perhaps unconsciously, trying to blame them and make them feel guilty and ashamed. This will only cause you to feel guilty and ashamed – perhaps unconsciously. Next thing you know, you’re depressed and self-medicating.
Yuck – the icky sticky blanket of toxic despair has landed, self-inflicted. Ugh.
If you believe that you have the power to make other people happy, to fix their lives, to rescue them or heal them and you withhold Love from them, you’ll probably feel guilty because you might also be punishing them, consciously or unconsciously.
If you feel upset, and you feel it will help you to tell other people about it, make sure you don’t feel they’re responsible. If you do feel they’re responsible for your feelings then take ownership of it like this:
“I’m feeling upset and I know it’s not you’re fault. It’s my crazy thinking. I’d like to talk it through with you, so that I can take total responsibility for my thoughts and feelings and heal this crazy thinking. Are you willing to help me talk it through?”
However, if you have a secret desire to blame them and shame them for “making you” feel upset, then don’t go talk with them – unless they’re really skilled at being able to recognize you’re exposing your crazy secret desire to blame and shame.
Taking TOTAL ownership is the only way to have a truly healing and productive conversation.
Remember, the ego loves to pick a fight, to blame and to shame and that will only leave you feeling guilty and ashamed. There’s just no benefit to trying to make others responsible for your upset. Heal that habit and your life will become more loving, more prosperous and more harmonious! Woo hoo!
Let’s get away together and have some fun! Super Early-bird on now! Power of Love In-Person Retreat Memorial Day Weekend in the Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina! May 23 to May 26 – Come away with us! Let’s have a wonderful time together up in the mountains, doing our spiritual work and playing, having fun, eating delicious food, getting spa treatments and relaxing. Things are so intense right now – let’s get a way for along weekend and open ourselves to new insight and inspiration. We’ll anchor the Highest Vision for our life and let go of limiting habits and beliefs. Let’s play! Click here for more info!
Join me Saturday, APRIL 12 for a WORKSHOP Activating Faith & Trust for A Happier Life Part 2. By popular request, my April Deep Dive Workshop topic is Activating Faith & Trust for A Happier Life Part 2. Many spiritual students find it very difficult to have faith and place their trust in Spirit, in intuition, and inspiration. Without trust and faith, it’s not possible to awaken and enjoy the daily benefits that being connected with Spirit brings. Trust and faith are possible and there are practical methods to access them. Join me on Saturday, April 12th for a deep dive into the HOW of activating faith and trust. Click now to register.
NEW ACIM PODCAST EPISODE: my topic is How to Heal and Love Yourself. Every struggle—whether it’s illness, emotional pain, or financial hardship—is a call for love and an opportunity to remember the truth of who we are. In this episode, I share how we can speed up our healing with Love. I explore the ACIM teachings that show us how all dysfunction can be healed with Love. With simple tips of how to actually activate this healing, this episode is a game-changer!
