There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t get to refine my ability to be loving. What a good thing that is!
My little kitty, Sattva is such a good helper and teacher to me.
He provides so many opportunities for me to respond with Love.
For instance, even though he knows I don’t like him getting on the kitchen counter, when it’s meal time and I’m prepping something for him to eat – or I’m using my juicer – he’s going to be getting on the counter and no matter how many times I take him off, he jumps back.
When I take him off the counter, I’m kind to him, and I’m also clear that I don’t want him on the counter, but he is insistent. When I’m juicing something, he’s fascinated and he has to be there to watch. He also loves running water or water in general. He sits on the edge of the tub when I take a bath.
Sattva is an outdoor kitty. And as it’s gotten cold here in Vermont, he still loves to go out. He usually comes when I call. You can see what that’s like from this video I took the other day:
The first time he went out and it was about 12° I really didn’t want him to go out. I thought he’d come right back, but he was out for three hours. It was morning, but still I felt concerned.
Then one night it was 4° and he got out. I thought he’d come right back, and again I was so wrong. He was out there again for three hours.
After two hours I was getting nervous. Especially because at night the coyotes and the bobcats are out. And it was SO cold. He had never been out in weather that cold.
I decided to google “how cold is too cold for an outdoor cat?” And the answer was 50°. YIKES! I felt an urgency rise up in me. I was calling to him, but he wasn’t coming. This usually just means he’s having fun and doesn’t want to come home.
He’s very much like a young kid who doesn’t hear me when he doesn’t feel like it. Sometimes in the daytime I’ll call to him, and I can see him in the neighbors yard. I know for sure that he can hear me and he totally ignores me. It’s as though he’s a 12 years old boy who just doesn’t want to come in when Mom calls.
On one hand I feel that if he’s having fun that’s what I support. Of course I’d just like for him to be safe.
When I read that 50° was too cold for a house cat and he’s still out there in 4° weather, I was calling him to come home more urgently. I felt a bit irresponsible for letting him get out when the temperature was so low.
I was sending him pictures mentally, pictures of us cuddling and snuggling and feeling so loving. That usually gets him home pretty fast.
As it was coming to the third hour and later in the evening, I started to have a conversation with him in my head like this:
“This is the last time, my boy. If you don’t get home this minute you are going to be grounded for at least a month. I have had it. This is way too much. I know you can hear me calling you and you don’t care about anyone but yourself. Who do you think you are?”
I’m not kidding.
Of course I was laughing as I was having these thoughts. It was ridiculous and I absolutely knew it.
I knew, and I really did know, that everything was fine. I was certain he’d come home, but I was feeling a bit guilty that I had allowed him to get out and that guilt was bringing up thoughts of punishment. My punishment was the guilt, and I was projecting it onto my boy Sattva.
This is the thing about the unconscious guilt – it comes up for healing and we either choose healing or punishment.
I was choosing healing.
And then he appeared in the doorway, just after 3 hours outside in the 4° night. I let him in and snuggled him. I feed him and snuggle him when he comes home because I am teaching him that coming home always has its rewards.
I am grateful that Sattva’s presence in my life helps me to be more loving and to release unwanted patterns of lack and limitation. He’s a precious boy. He’s truly helpful.
Bodhi and Sattva manage to cuddle and snuggle every day. It’s very sweet to see.
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