I was a spiritual information addict. For years, I accumulated teachings, techniques, and insights like a collector gathering treasures. I felt accomplished when I finished another book, satisfied when I could quote spiritual teachers, proud of my growing spiritual vocabulary.
But I was still struggling with feeling like a spiritual fake.
Despite all my studies, I couldn’t hold onto my insights. I’d have profound realizations in meditation or at church, only to watch them slip through my fingers by the next day. I’d be loving and patient one moment, judgmental and irritated the next.
I was playing small by using my spiritual practice to strengthen my ego instead of surrendering it.
Here’s what I learned: there’s a massive difference between spiritual studies and spiritual awakening. We can read A Course in Miracles for thirty years and still miss the point if we’re approaching it intellectually rather than experientially.
The ego loves spiritual study because it can turn even the most profound teachings into just another way to feel special. “Look how much I know! Look how evolved I am!” Meanwhile, you’re still attacking people with your thoughts, still withholding love when you’re upset, still making your peace conditional on getting your way.
True spiritual practice is about applying what you learn, not just understanding it.
It’s about choosing love when we’d rather be right. It’s about extending compassion when w feel justified in our anger.
It’s about seeking the Kingdom within instead of trying to rearrange the Kingdom without.
The shift happened for me when I stopped studying spirituality and started living it. Instead of collecting more information, I began focusing on consistent application. Even reading one sentence of ACIM with my whole heart brought more healing than years of intellectual analysis.
This is why I emphasize community and accountability in all my programs. It’s easy to fool ourselves when we’re going solo. But when you’re committed to living these principles with others who are doing the same work, you can’t hide behind spiritual concepts anymore.
If you find yourself constantly gathering more information but not consistently growing, ask yourself:
Am I using my spiritual practice to feel superior, or to become more loving?
Am I seeking information, or transformation?
The ego will always prefer the classroom to the full embodiment. But your heart knows the difference between studying love and being love.
Real spiritual maturity means being willing to put down the books and pick up the practices. It means valuing transformation over information, heart over head, being over knowing.
STARTS FRIDAY – Are you ready to stop playing small? I’m offering an online retreat that starts this Friday, September 5. It’s one of the most effective and successful things I’ve done. People repeat it 3 and 4 times because they get so much out of it. If you feel like you might be playing small in some area of your life – this could be your breakthrough! Plan for your success and we’ll do it together – click here to learn more about the Stop Playing Small Online Retreat in September. If you’re thinking of taking this, you can combine it with Finding Freedom From Fear – which is on Early Bird Special, and you get an EXTRA DISCOUNT if you register for both right now!
NEW ACIM PODCAST EPISODE: my topic is The Two Voices in Your Head (And Why Only One Tells the Truth) We carry two conflicting evaluations of ourselves – the Holy Spirit’s loving truth that sees our perfection and the ego’s distorted perception that sees only lack and unworthiness. According to numerology, we’re in a completion year where unhealed patterns are surfacing for final healing before we enter a new cycle and this means we’re all being pushed to let go of the patterns of pain. In this episode, drawing from A Course in Miracles Chapter 9, Section 7, the core message is that the Holy Spirit never forgets our true nature while the ego keeps us trapped in littleness, and our only path to freedom is choosing which evaluation we’ll align with through our willingness to value what’s truly valuable.
