There’s a question that helped me set myself free. It’s only three words:
Who betrayed whom?
Ugh. I know. That one stings a little, because we often choose to blame others, but it’s taking responsibility that holds the key to our liberation.
I used to be such a grudge holder, hanging on to my grievances like my life depended up on it. I had a debilitating habit of taking offense.
I saw betrayal all over my life – by close friends, by spiritual leaders, by a sweetheart, the medical community.
It was this piling on of the betrayals.
I couldn’t let them go.
How could I let them go?
They were so real to me.
Here’s what helped me to see it correctly: If I betray my integrity, if I betray my own guidance – the intuition and the insights that I’m getting – and I say, “I don’t want to think about that”… who betrayed whom?
Did THEY betray me, or did I do it to myself.
ACIM teaches us that all betrayal is self-betrayal.
Yes, ALL of it.
I had to get honest. I made choices that gave someone the opportunity to take advantage of me. There’s no doubt that I got warning bells I ignored. I didn’t wish to pay attention to them.
It’s not possible for someone to take advantage of us without our permission. Yes, they can trick us, but that’s not usually the case. We let them do it. We say yes to it.
A Course in Miracles tells us: “What could you not accept if you but knew everything was gently planned for your good?”
And it also tells us everything works together for our good, and there are no exceptions.
We betrayed ourselves when we compromised our integrity.
When we trusted people we knew weren’t trustworthy.
When we ignored the guidance we were getting.
And then we project all that anger out onto the person who seemingly did it to us.
Only those who really are done with suffering are willing to look at this and think about it and go the other way. That’s the truth. It took me years to get the hang of this, but now I’m clear, and grateful that people weren’t ruining my life – I was doing it to myself and now I know so I don’t do that anymore.
Yes, I had to forgive myself, but there was no other viable choice.
In my Masterful Living Program, we do this deep, honest work together – looking at where we’ve betrayed ourselves and releasing the judgments we’ve been carrying.
My Letting Go of A Person Deep Dive Workshop on March 21 is a powerful, focused space to release the person we feel betrayed by – by doing the inner work that actually sets us free.
Let’s stop asking “How could they do this to me?” and start asking the question that heals.
Who betrayed whom? Let’s get honest together. Healing is happy-making!
If you’re struggling with a relationship, and it feels like co-dependency, it feels like you need to release an obsessive-compulsive attachment, I have a workshop for you. In Letting Go of a Person – Saturday, March 21st, (We’re doing this on the equinox to take advantage of that powerful energy!) I’ll support you in tangible clear steps you can follow to release the attachment. You don’t have to end the relationship, but the pain won’t stop until you can release the sense of craving, needing, wanting, hating, andobsessing. Click here for more info.
My next Free Forgiveness Workshop Sunday, March 15 at 11:00 AM Eastern, Please join me and we’ll have a deep and profound healing together. Save My Spot – Free Forgiveness Workshop
TODAY: Sundays with Spirit – join for inspirational music and message. Totally FREE – all are welcome – register to get the zoom details for today. Please remember that in the USA the clocks change today – we’re one hour earlier.
NEW ACIM PODCAST EPISODE: I Will Never Forgive – Really? “I will never forgive.” I’ve been seeing these words everywhere lately – and I understand them. I used to live there. I used to feel attacked by life every single day, and I had to let the steam off constantly or I felt like I’d explode. In this episode, I share the four words from A Course in Miracles Chapter 30 that changed everything for me – and something I discovered about defense that I wish I’d known decades earlier. I also offer a word I prefer to “forgiveness,” because the world’s definition isn’t what we’re actually practicing. If you’ve ever felt justified in your anger, or wondered why letting go feels impossible, or caught yourself pretending you’re fine when you’re not – I made this one for you. We’re doing this together.
