Let me share something that completely changed how I see relationship triggers.

Every time someone “makes you” angry, hurt, or frustrated, they’re not actually doing anything TO you. They’re showing you where you’re still believing lies about yourself.

The Gift Hidden in the Trigger

I used to get triggered by EVERYTHING. Someone would ignore me at the store, and I’d spiral into “They’re disrespecting me!” But here’s what I realized: We only get triggered when our false identity feels threatened.

Think about it. If you truly knew you were whole, perfect, and deeply loved, would someone’s opinion shake you? Would their behavior define your worth?

The trigger is always about fear related to our identity. Always.

Stop Taking It Personally, Jennifer

A Course in Miracles taught me the most liberating practice: Stop taking things personally. Because when we do, we significantly reduce your triggers.

I was deeply insecure. On the surface, I seemed confident, even aggressive. But underneath? A giant gaping hole of “not good enough.” So I took EVERYTHING personally.

Someone didn’t smile back? They don’t like me.
Someone was quiet? I must have done something wrong.
Someone succeeded? I’m a failure.

But none of it was about me.
People are preoccupied with their own lives, their own fears, their own healing.

The Healing Opportunity

Every trigger is a healing opportunity in disguise.

When we feel that familiar kick in our gut, that tightening in our chest, we have two choices:

1. Express a cry for Love (through attack, defense, or manipulation)
2. Answer the cry for Love (with compassion and truth)

I learned to ask: “This thing I’m about to do—is it answering the cry for Love? Or expressing it?”

Your New Practice

Next time you’re triggered, try this:

• Pause before reacting
• Place your hand on your heart
• Say “Holy Spirit, show me the truth here”
• Choose to answer Love’s call instead of expressing fear

And if you’d like an opportunity to focus on healing the patterns that are producing the relationships in your life- consider joining me on Saturday for my  Stop Wrecking Your Relationships Deep Dive Workshop—turning every trigger into a doorway to freedom.

Because the person triggering you isn’t your enemy. They’re your teacher, showing you exactly where you’re ready to heal.

And that’s a gift worth unwrapping.

If you’re ready to transform your perception, from judgment to blessing, consider joining my Quantum Counseling Training Intensive. This profound 8-day program, beginning October 31st, will guide you through the same transformation I experienced – and teach you how to facilitate it for others. You’ll learn to see the world through Love’s eyes and become a beacon of hope for those still trapped in judgment. Through experiential exercises and heart-centered techniques, you’ll develop the skills to help others find peace in a chaotic world. Our certified Spiritual Counselors are available for FREE Exploratory Calls to help you determine if my Quantum Counseling Training Intensive aligns with your spiritual path. Your heart knows the answer.

NEW ACIM PODCAST EPISODE: my topic is Your Brothers Are Part of You—Will You Accept Them?. In this episode, I dive into ACIM teachings on oneness from Chapter 9, Section 6 on “The Acceptance of Your Brother”—and how this realization transforms the way we approach our relationships, especially helpful to us during the upcoming holiday season. I share my personal journey from difficult family gatherings to peaceful celebrations by learning this profound truth: your brothers and sisters are part of you, and rejecting them means rejecting yourself. I open up about my 25 years as a spiritual counselor and how seeing perfection in my clients taught me to see it in myself, and I guide you through the practice of extending love even when it’s hard—especially with the relatives who trigger you most. I also share my perspective that humanity is experiencing a collective “extinction burst” where all our separation thinking is surfacing intensely before we break through to collective awakening, and I invite you to join me in choosing to see the Christ in everyone as we prepare for the holidays ahead.