When I first began my spiritual practice of non-violence back in the 1990’s, and I was studying the teachings of Gandhi, and King as well as Ernest Holmes and others, I began to look at all of my choices to see if they were loving or unloving. To me, the nonviolent choice is the loving choice.
Now, I used to be the queen of taking offense. It’s so easy to be offended by things in life. For much of my life this was my habit. I would look for things to be offended by.
When I deepened my spiritual practice and committed myself to releasing all negativity and keep my focus on being loving and compassionate, I started to have many realizations that supported my intention to change my life.
There were two main things that I realized that were very helpful to me.
First, I realized that one of the reasons why I took offense so frequently was that it was deeply upsetting to me. In being upset, I would feel “alive.”
The energy of being upset gives us the false sense of being energized and having a purpose, a reason for living.
It’s a strange kind of “I’m upset, there for I am.”
Think about that. The ego is nothing. It has no power. Yet, if we take offense and get upset, it’s as if we’re taking our life-force and pouring it into the ego. The ego seems so alive and powerful when we’re offended.
If we’re identified with the ego, we need to find life. The ego has no life of it’s own. Spirit has life, the ego doesn’t. Being upset is a false sense of life.
Recognizing that I was settling for a false sense of life, instead of real liveliness, I decided to quit taking offense and replace that habit with being loving and kind.
Secondly, when offended, we can feel powerful. When we’re offended, we feel SO right. When we’re taking offense, we’re the ones who are better than whoever we’re offended by.
When we don’t have a direct sense of personal power because we’re living from the only power there is, which is Love, then we may look for some false sense of power. In which case, power OVER others (which is an aspect of being offended) will be an acceptable compromise.
Recognizing that the feeling of power over others actually makes me feel icky, and energetically depressed because it’s a denial of unity and oneness, I decided to replace that habit of being righteously offended with being compassionate.
Realizing that being upset frequently isn’t self-loving, I replaced it with being self-nurturing and focusing on loving thoughts and prayer. In order to really love myself, I needed to quit provoking myself and allowing myself to get upset. I needed to stop fanning the flames of my upset with righteousness, complaining and blaming others.
I’m so glad that I saw how self-destructive the habit of being offended is.
I don’t wish to take offense anymore. There’s no benefit in it for me. I’m done with it.
I’d rather focus my attention on extending Love and being truly helpful. I’d rather focus on what makes me happy rather than being upset. It’s the Power of Love in my heart and it allows me to live a life that I love!
My Self-Love online workshop is Sunday, March 17th – let’s launch into spring with love! Love is the great healer of EVERYTHING and we can actually love ourselves free of the past and the pain. If you find you’re hard on yourself, this may be the workshop for you. Follow your intuition – if it’s right for you right now, you’ll know.
NEW PODCAST EPISODE! The most recent episode of my podcast’s topic is Stop Delaying Your Progress. We delay our progress and our happiness by trying to find happiness where it cannot be found. Instead of going the other way, we try again and again with diminished hope and increased despair. In this week’s episode, I share simple spiritual practices of how to demonstrate the willingness to go the other way and find the Freedom to live without suffering. We can choose heaven now!
