When I was growing up, I was a Daddy’s girl.
I love my Dad. He’s a great guy. Yet he could be tough back then, and as I got older and more independent, our relationship became one of the most challenging in my life. In his life too.
We’d argue. Terrible arguments, even into my adulthood. Slamming doors. Yelling. Just needing to be right.
I’d like to tell you about one particular Father’s Day.
I was a teenager, and my mother wasn’t the kind to remind me about gifts. She didn’t say make sure you get your father something for Father’s Day. So, Father’s Day arrived, and we were about to celebrate it, and I had absolutely nothing for my Dad. No handmade card. Nothing.
The disappointment in my father was epic.
Just epic.
I felt so guilty.
This was around the time we were having so many difficulties, and he needed to know I loved him on Father’s Day. And here I was, empty-handed.
A while earlier, I’d forgotten to do my chore of washing the kitchen floor. My father had said, so you forgot to do your chore, but I’ll bet you remembered to call your friends and talk to them on the phone, didn’t you?
Of course I had.
He said, so basically, if it’s not important to you, you forget about it.
He was right.
When I realized I’d forgotten Father’s Day, I was effectively communicating to him, you’re not important to me – which wasn’t true at all.
Yet I didn’t know how to undo that moment. I didn’t know how to repair it. I didn’t yet know about forgiveness.
It took years of inner work to find my way to compassion for myself. Slowly, slowly, I started to see how alike my Dad and I were. I started to have more compassion for him. And the more compassion I felt for him, the more compassion I could extend to myself.
Love lifted me. Love always lifts our vibration.
Think of the people you love. Think of the times of unconditional love. It might have been a long time ago. It might have been a brief moment you can barely remember.
Yet remembering any time when you felt acceptance or appreciation – that vibration will lift you above the battlefield.
A Course in Miracles tells us:
“I must have decided wrongly, because I am not at peace. I do not feel guilty, because the Holy Spirit will undo all the consequences of my wrong decision if I will let Him.” Chapter 5 (T-5.VII.6)
I call this the parent’s prayer. It’s also the daughter’s prayer. The son’s prayer. The grown-child’s prayer for any father we’ve struggled with, any father we’ve been disappointed by, any father we’ve disappointed.
I’ve ALWAYS known my Father had my back. I’ve never for one second doubt that he loved me and that, along with my Mother’s Love has been the greatest human gift I’ve ever received.
My father and I haven’t had a real argument in fifteen years.
There’s nothing to argue about.
We disagree about things all the time. Yet we don’t need to argue. We just agree to disagree. It’s fine. Neither of us feels put out by our lack of agreement.
That’s what’s available to all of us. Not because the past changes – it doesn’t. We choose to see it differently.
And that’s the power of forgiveness. Because we choose to step into the present with love instead of water our grievances.
If there’s a father in your life you’d like to reach toward – whether he’s here or in the invisible – this Father’s Day weekend is the doorway.
Join me TODAY at my FREE Forgiveness Workshops. Free. Come as you are.
We’re choosing love now. Happy Father’s Day and Happy Solstice!
IN-PERSON EVENT – Quantum Counseling Training Intensive in July – If you have an interest in training to be a spiritual counselor or simply doing some dealing work to open up your intuition and improve your relationships, I’ve been offering a professional training intensive for the last 15 years. This year we’re doing the training intensive – open to anyone whether or not you have any interest in becoming a counselor – the Quantum Counseling Training Intensive in Asheville NC Sunday, July 12th to Saturday, July 18th with Jennifer Hadley and Mark Anthony Lord, as well as Guest Teachers Alan Cohen, Jon Mundy and Lisa Natoli joining us online – register soon so you can qualify for early-bird bonuses please click here now for more info.
TODAY- 2 Free Forgiveness Workshop, Please join me and we’ll have a deep and profound healing together. Feel free to invite friends and loved ones. Save My Spot – Free Forgiveness Workshop
Self-sabotage shows up in so many ways. For some of us it’s procrastination, putting off the very thing that would help us most. For others it’s playing small, holding back our gifts, getting in our own way right when things start going well, or being so hard on ourselves that nothing we do ever feels good enough. And for many of us it’s self-medication, reaching for food, a drink, the phone, or busyness to escape how we’re feeling. The forms are endless, but here’s what I’ve come to know: it’s never really about the behavior, it’s about the beliefs underneath it, and those we can heal at the root. That’s why I’d love for you to join me for my End My Self-Sabotage Challenge, beginning Sunday, June 28. We’ll bring these patterns out of the dark and into the Light together, in a community where there’s no judgment, only Love. The first week is my gift to you, so come and experience it for yourself. Trust your intuition. If it’s right for you right now, you’ll know.
NEW PODCAST EPISODE: Forgiving Our FathersMy father and I used to have intense arguments. Slamming doors. Years of it. I carried a story for a long time that something was wrong with me, and I’m guessing you’ve carried something similar. With Father’s Day coming up, I sat with A Course in Miracles Text Chapter 1 and let myself walk back through it. What I found surprised me. What if the practice we keep hoping our parents will hand us is one we get to use ourselves, today?
