I have a confession: I used to be a professional fault-finder. I could spot what was wrong with anything or anyone in seconds. I thought this was a valuable skill.

I truly believed that being able to see all the problems and shortcomings would somehow protect me from disappointment and pain.

I was so wrong. All that fault-finding was my pain.

For years, I lived with this constant inner dialogue: “That could be better. They should have done it differently. This isn’t good enough. I wish it were different.” I thought I was being discerning, but I was actually in a constant state of attack – against the world, against others, against myself.

The most exhausting part was applying this same merciless standard to myself. Nothing I did was ever enough. Every meal could have been better prepared. Every conversation could have been more eloquent. Every day could have been more productive. I was like a restaurant critic reviewing my own life and always finding it lacking.

A Course in Miracles opened my eyes to what was really happening. Jesus teaches that when we’re looking for faults, we’re operating from the ego’s grandiosity – the belief that we know better than God how things should be. But our true grandeur, which is God-given, can only see perfection because it can only bless.

The shift began when I started asking myself: “Would I say this to a child I loved?” The answer was almost always no. I would never criticize a beloved child the way I was criticizing myself and others. I would never point out all their shortcomings or constantly tell them they weren’t doing enough.

So I began practicing what I call “joy-finding” instead of fault-finding.

Instead of automatically looking for what was wrong, I started looking for what was right. Instead of focusing on what was missing, I focused on what was here, with me, now. Instead of seeing problems, I started seeing opportunities for love.

This doesn’t mean I became unrealistic or lost all discernment. It means I stopped using criticism and complaining as my default way of relating to life. I can go to a restaurant now and simply enjoy the experience without being a restaurant critic. I can watch a movie without analyzing everything that could have been better. I can have a conversation without keeping score of who said what perfectly.

Most importantly, I can look at my own life and the people in it and see the beauty, the growth, the love that’s already there instead of the endless list of improvements needed.

The practice is simple: when you catch yourself finding fault, ask “Where can I find joy in this instead?” When you notice criticism arising, ask “How can I bless this situation?” When you feel the urge to improve everything, ask “What if it’s already perfect as it is?”

This isn’t about settling for less or lowering standards. It’s about recognizing that perfection is already here – we just have to adjust our vision to see it. It’s about remembering that our true function is to extend love, not to correct the world.

The world doesn’t need more critics. It needs more celebrators. It needs people who can see the magnificence that’s already present and help others see it too.

Today, choose joy-finding over fault-finding.

Choose blessing over criticism. Choose to see with the eyes of love instead of the eyes of judgment.

You might be amazed at how much more beautiful everything becomes when you’re not looking for what’s wrong with it.

This is the heart of what we practice in my Masterful Living Program (which starts January 3rd) together we give the heavy lifting to the Holy Spirit when we’re training our mind to be vigilant only for God.

Masterful Living Program 2026 – Registration is open! The sooner you register the more bonuses you get!  Click here now to learn more.

Join us in my Masterful Living Program in 2026 – this is where we’ll do this transformational work together. Or start with a FREE Forgiveness Workshop (next one is Sunday, Dec 7)  where you’ll learn the exact practices that can heal your heart and your life.

The patterns stop with us. If you’ve been carrying decades of pain in your relationships with your mother, daughter, or sister—the resentments that won’t let go, the silence that feels permanent, the wounds passed down through generations—this is your invitation to freedom. Join me for Mother, Daughter, Sister: Spiritual Healing for Ourselves, Our Family & the World, a powerful 4-part transformational series where we’ll work at the level of mind to heal what feels impossible to heal. I’ll share the same spiritual tools I used to transform my relationship with my mother before her transition—tools that create quantum healing because all minds are joined. When YOU are willing to change your mind about yourself, about them, about the past, miracles ripple through your whole family. You don’t need them to change, apologize, or even participate. Your willingness is enough. NOW STARTING Thursday, December 4th Let’s do this together. 💜

NEW ACIM PODCAST EPISODE:  Why Your Apology Isn’t Enough (And What Really Heals)  In this episode of A Course in Miracles: Living the Love, Walking the Talk, I uncover why holding grudges might feel protective but is actually destroying your peace—and share the counterintuitive solution hiding in ACIM Chapter 21. From my family celebration in San Antonio, I reveal a personal revelation about apologies that will change how you see every difficult relationship. I’ll show you the impossible thing we try to do with faith and why it never works, plus the surprisingly simple alternative that creates miracles. Essential listening for anyone navigating challenging relationships this holiday season. #ACIM #ACourseInMiracles #Relationships #Forgiveness #Faith