A Course in Miracles tells us that increasing a sense of guilt is what our special Love relationships are all about. Don’t we know it!
ACIM teaches us that our special Love relationships are backwards. Instead of unconditional Love there’s co-dependency, which is conditional Love. This kind of relationship only increases our suffering because we become so attached to the other person validating us.
In the special Love relationship we’re attracted to the person who affirms our false identity. That’s not Love. It’s a poor substitute.
In our special relationships we begin by being so glad and excited that someone is affirming our specialness, but we know that if someone’s not seeing our true identity they aren’t loving our true self, only the false self. Deep down we know it’s a poor arrangement.
If we present a false self in our relationships – one that we think is more likable than our true self, and if we hide how we feel, so people don’t ever know what’s going on with us, won’t we actually be preventing others from loving us?
The shift happens when we love ourselves – our TRUE selves – not the personality.
In the false, fake, special relationship, our upset is a display to manipulate others into feeling guilty for having upset us.
Is it Love if we’re manipulating someone to do what we’d like?
Do you wish to be in a relationship with someone who blames their upset on you and then tries to make you feel guilty for it?
The way out of this pain is to take responsibility for our upsets.
It helps to be able to be transparent about how we feel and to not blame anyone.
There’s such a great reward when we can let people Love us. It’s one of the reasons why we love dogs so much. We allow them to love us, and it makes them so happy!
When we allow others to love us there’s a healing that happens for everyone because Love is our healer!
Love reminds us who we are, and what we are.
Joining with others is part of why I love being a spiritual counselor and why I love training spiritual counselors and empowering them. (Please consider working with one of the spiritual counselors I’m training – you can book a session on a donation basis – look here: Quantum Counselors.
Our relationships can be healthy. They don’ have to be dysfunctional.
Are you ready to stop playing small? I’m offering an online retreat that starts on September 5. It’s one of the most effective and successful things I’ve done. People repeat it 3 and 4 times because they get so much out of it. If you feel like you might be playing small in some area of your life – this could be your breakthrough! Plan for your success and we’ll do it together – click here to learn more about the Stop Playing Small Online Retreat in September. It’s on Early Bird Special right now!
Latest ACIM PODCAST EPISODE: my topic is You ARE the Treasure: Why God Values You Above Everything Else. Exploring “The Treasure of God” from A Course in Miracles Chapter 8, I share the profound revelation that WE are God’s only treasure – not money or worldly things, but us. Through Jesus’s retelling of the prodigal son story and my reflection on how movies like The Matrix, Star Wars, and Lord of the Rings all feature “savior of the world” themes, I realized we’re all meant to be saviors through joining with the Holy Spirit and seeing Christ in everyone. The key to moving from confusion to clarity is accepting that EVERYONE is equally valuable to God – from the worst person imaginable to Mother Teresa – and understanding that God’s will is our will, there’s no separation. Our function is to create and extend love in whatever form that takes, whether cooking a meal or teaching a class, and when we accept our true value as God’s treasure, we can finally live in the peace and freedom that is our birthright!
