Remember the band “Rage Against the Machine”? Well, this post doesn’t have anything to do with that band, but the title came to me. I’m feeling so much more free than I’ve ever felt before and I remember that I used to feel a tremendous rage. It felt like a bottomless pit of anger and upset – deep hurt underneath. When the anger hit me it would feel like it overtook me and it felt like I was the rage. It felt like I actually was a dark, angry, red hot swirling mass of attack, violence, exploding and imploding at the very same time. It was so completely overwhelming and terrifying and I felt so helpless in the midst of it.
For a long time I was identified with the anger.
I thought it was me.
I had no idea what the Truth is.
After an episode of anger I would feel the most horrible hangover of pain, suffering, and self-recrimination. It was so toxic. And yet the anger was, in a sense, so necessary. It was so much better than the alternative – to keep it all inside.
For a long time my identification was with “an angry person.”
I’ve learned a lot since then. I’ve learned that I AM Love not anger. I rarely feel anger or hurt. I’m so glad that’s over because I remember all too well that I never thought it would be.
Hold the vision of your life and your self as free and it will come to BE!
