I used to be a card carrying “Control Freak.” I’ve said many times that when I first realized that I was such a control freak that I thought it would be great if they had a 12 Step Program for control freaks.
Trying to control, manage and manipulate everything in my life was definitely an addiction. I definitely felt powerless over the addiction and I knew I needed help. I didn’t know how to stop myself. It seemed to be such a vital part of my identity. Controlling, managing and manipulating was the dominant feature of my personality – or so it seemed. How could I let go of my personality just because it was ruining my life?
So, it felt like having a 12 Step Program for control freaks would be
helpful. I could use the support. I thought about it for 10 seconds and realized that there could never be 12 Step Meetings for control freaks because who would run the meeting? How would that work? It seems like it would just be a nightmare and make things worse!
So, I realized I had to go it alone. I had to learn how to release the idea that I was right about everything. It wasn’t easy until I started to realize that life is actually MUCH easier when you’re NOT a control freak! It got even easier when I realized I AM not alone. I’m never alone.
if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there. Psalm 139
It’s an onerous burden to need to be right about everything. It’s a total LACK OF FAITH in Love, in God. It’s so limiting to feel that it’s your job to advise and manage everyone because you’re smarter than everyone. Phew!!!
Life is SO MUCH EASIER now that I can appreciate things just as they are. Instead of judging everything and trying to fix it, I focus on being loving and compassionate. It’s so much more fruitful. I focus on building my faith and trust. What a change. Now, I’m happy and joy-full much of the time. Thank you, GOD!!
