When I was in my 20’s I discovered that I had a deep seated self-hatred.  It took me by surprise.  I was glad to figure that out though, and now I can see that it was really that my personality didn’t like my personality.  It’s kind of funny if you think about it.

I decided then to focus on loving my Self – my true Self with a capital S.

Even though I didn’t understand it at all, I was going for it.  And, honestly, that was probably the first really great decision I made in my life and maybe the best decision ever.

No joke – that one decision improved the quality of every day of the rest of my life!

Other people teach us how to love and accept ourselves. It’s a beautiful thing.  It’s an extraordinarily beautiful thing.  I had to work at it to love my Self.

Life makes it clear to us that the root causes of fear and violence are a lack of Self-Love. Many people have told me that they don’t know how to begin to love themselves. I get it! One of the major issues is that many of us have been raised by people who didn’t model it.

When we don’t have clear examples of Self-Love then we don’t know what it is. Self-Love IS recognizing that we don’t love people because they have no issues. We don’t love people when the conditions are right. That’s not what Love is. Love, as Shakespeare said so beautifully, “Love is not love that alters when it alteration finds, … it looks on tempests and is never shaken.”

This means that someone can behave unkindly, foolishly, thoughtlessly, and still they are quite lovable. We all fall down every day. I know I do. And the way I get back up from the fall is through my spiritual practice of self-forgiveness and self-Love.

Self-forgiveness is a practice non-judgment.  

Self-Love is a practice of nurturing and acceptance.

One time I was out with a friend at a gathering of people. I didn’t realize it, but I was walking around with my dress pulled up and tucked into my slip – a classic kind of exposure that you see in the movies. I’d gone to the bathroom and pulled my dress up to use the toilet, but then it got tucked into my slip and I didn’t realize it.

Fortunately, a kind woman told me and I adjusted my clothing. I was a little bit embarrassed. It definitely bothered me for a moment. No one wants to walk around with their undergarments exposed. Well, actually, a lot of people do because they like the attention, but I’m not one of them! LOL!

My momentary embarrassment didn’t last long because I didn’t hang onto any judgment of myself. 

I’m not a bad person, or a foolish person because I tucked my skirt in my slip. I’m not even a careless person. It just happened. It is what it is.

We can realize that we love others even when they fart, and fall down, and have spinach in their teeth. So, we don’t have to make a meaning of it when we discover something about ourselves that we’d rather not have everyone know or see.

I once was teaching a group, and we were all sitting in a circle.  As I often do, I was sitting Indian style with my legs crossed.  I was wearing all white, white pants, white top, etc. I had been teaching for a while and we took a break. When I went to use the bathroom I discovered that I’d gotten my period and I didn’t know it and my white pants were showing blood. It happens. This is life. The meaning to make of it was “I’m a woman, I’m fertile, I’m experiencing my natural cycles.” No judgment needed. Fortunately, I was in my home and I could easily change clothes.

When we have real Love for ourselves, we don’t judge. We accept. We soothe ourselves. We nurture ourselves. No punishment ever. That’s what Love is. Love is patient, love is kind, never jealous, never harsh. Since Love is what we are. Let’s allow the Love to shine through in our thoughts and watch the whole world change!

Let’s teach only Love, for that is what we are, but let’s also just learn how to truly love ourselves.  It changes everything.  And that’s why, tomorrow, Saturday, in honor of Valentines Day coming up, I’m offering a workshop on Self-Love for Relationship Healing. I hope you’ll join me!

NEXT WEEKEND DEEP DIVE WORKSHOP – Self-Love for Relationship Healing Saturday, February 8 – Zoom workshop:  One of the hardest things we deal with is the pain of a failing relationship. We recognize our part in it and we make the meaning of the failure that we are a failure at life itself. We often conclude that we’re unlovable. ALL of that can be turned around and undone – if we’re willing. That’s why I’m offering this workshop just in time for Valentine’s Day – make it a gift to yourself! Register now.

Where are you valuing that which isn’t actually true, and it’s just your interpretation?  Are you willing to give up your story to experience a greater awareness of God’s glory in your life?  If you’d like support for that I’m offering a forgiveness workshop to for anyone who’s willing to do the work with me.  You can register now, my gift to all, click now to join me:  FREE forgiveness workshop SUNDAY!

Free Forgiveness Workshop with me Sunday, February 9th – Join me!  Let’s do this deep work and have a healing together.  Let’s lighten our load as head towards Valentine’s Day.  Now’s the time!  Free sounds good, right?  Invite a friend!  Register now and I’ll see you then!  Click here now to register for FREE!