For many people, the idea of being consistently loving feels like a prison. They think it means they can’t express their feelings or that they have to be a spiritual doormat.
I used to feel the same way. Being consistently loving felt like a burden too heavy to carry. “Too hard! Can’t do it! Don’t make me!”
Think of a little child having a temper tantrum. They throw themselves on the floor, flail about, and declare they can’t do what’s being asked of them. That’s exactly what the ego does when it’s invited to be loving no matter what.
But here’s what I’ve learned: the ego doesn’t have a meltdown. The ego is just a thought system.
When we’re identified with the ego – when we believe we’re this small, separate, defensive self – then we have these kinds of reactions where we say, “I can’t do it! I can’t be loving! It’s too hard!”
The beautiful thing is that we don’t actually have to overcome the ego’s resistance. We just have to remember that we’re not the ego. We’re the Love that the ego is resisting.
When that tantrum energy comes up – when every cell in your body wants to defend, attack, or withdraw – that’s actually a perfect moment to practice. That’s when you get to discover that you have a choice.
It’s a choice: You can identify with the part of you that wants to have a meltdown, or you can identify with the part of you that is capable of Love even in difficult moments.
This isn’t about suppressing your feelings or pretending everything is fine when it isn’t. It’s about remembering that your feelings are not your identity. Your reactions are not who you are.
When someone pushes your buttons, you get to choose: Do I respond from the part of me that wants to prove I’m right, or do I respond from the part of me that wants to be helpful?
The ego will tell you that being loving means letting people walk all over you. But real Love is incredibly powerful. Real Love sets appropriate boundaries. Real Love speaks truth with compassion. Real Love doesn’t enable dysfunction, but it doesn’t attack either.
Real Love is healing.
The practice is catching yourself in those moments when the ego wants to have a tantrum and asking: “How would Love respond here? What would the most loving version of myself do in this situation?”
You might be surprised to discover that the most loving response is often the most powerful response.
NEW ACIM PODCAST EPISODE:my topic is Rising Above the Battlefield When Everything Falls Apart. In this episode, I shared insights from a powerful dream where I was teaching in a cave and promised to help anyone who feels like they’re falling back in their spiritual consciousness. Drawing from A Course in Miracles Chapter 26, I addressed how we’re living in intense times where people are relapsing into addiction, fear, and separation, but emphasized that this is actually pushing humanity toward a crucial choice point between going deeper into separation or rising above the battlefield. I explained that our plans for safety and happiness cannot be made in the future but must be claimed now, and reminded listeners that we are the dreamers of our dreams, not victims – calling on spiritual students to take responsibility for changing their minds as the key to healing our world.
