“I am going to suffer so that you are punished.”

That used to be my mentality. And it’s such a low vibrational activity.

A Course in Miracles reveals this pattern clearly:
“Every pain you suffer, do you see as proof that he is guilty of attack?”

We use our suffering as evidence of others’ guilt.

We think our suffering somehow is our redemption, but it’s not—because our suffering is an attack.

The Revenge Fantasy

I used to have such a strong mental attraction to revenge and punishment. To bring what I thought was divine justice. I’d hold onto every pain as proof of someone else’s guilt, thinking that when they finally felt guilty enough, I’d be free.

But that’s the illusion—that when we get our revenge, then we’ll be free.

Here’s what I’ve learned: Divine justice is inescapable. It’s natural. I may not understand how it works. I may not be able to see it clearly. But it’s embedded into everything in everyone’s life all the time. Because we are one.

The Hidden Cost

When we punish others with our suffering—”Look at all I did for you and you don’t appreciate it”—we’re playing a dangerous game. It’s the parent who sacrifices for their child and then punishes them with that awareness. It’s the partner who suffers in silence to make the other feel guilty.

Blame is such a low vibration. And here’s the thing: If someone makes choices that cause their own suffering, is anybody else to blame for that?  Of course not.  However, that’s not to say that someone couldn’t be complicit.  If we teach people they don’t deserve good treatment and so they choose to allow themselves to be treated poorly – we are complicit in that pattern.

In all cases, self-forgiveness is our way out of the repeating patterns of pain.

Freedom Through Forgiveness

My mind is now directed towards redemption—for myself, and for all humanity, so that all can be redeemed. True redemption means seeing ourselves whole, perfect, complete, seeing the innocence and beauty in ourselves and others.

Revenge is not a path of redemption.

In my Masterful Living Program, we learn to pull these patterns up by the root. Because how can we move into the expansion and beauty of our spiritual life when we’re playing these ego games?

We don’t need to suffer to prove someone else’s guilt. We need to forgive—ourselves and them. That’s where our freedom lies.

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SATURDAY Deep Dive Workshop Healing Mother Daughter Wounds If you’re still upset about your relationship with your mother or daughter, then you haven’t fully forgiven, join me on Saturday, November 15th at 3 PM Eastern,  for a powerful 2.5-hour Deep Dive Workshop  Healing Mother Daughter Wounds. Whether your mother or daughter is living or gone, speaking to you or estranged, these tools work because all minds are joined. Your healing becomes her healing. Bring your willingness, and I’ll bring the tools that transform decades of pain into peace. Register now—your breakthrough is waiting.  This workshop is a BONUS if you’re registered for Masterful Living 2026.

SUNDAY Join us for a FREE Forgiveness Workshop  next weekend. Give yourself the gift that keeps on giving—freedom from the patterns that keep you from the Love you seek.