I’ve been teaching forgiveness now for over 25 years, and one of the things that always comes up when I teach a Forgiveness Workshop (next one is tomorrow, Sunday) is people saying, “Okay, Jennifer, I need your help with this. I had an abortion so many years ago, and I just can’t forgive myself.” Or, “My father raped me, and I just can’t forgive.” Or, “I keep saying, ‘I forgive, I forgive, I forgive,’ but I cannot stop thinking about it.”
Sound familiar?
Here’s What’s Really Happening
The reason we can’t seem to get over it is because true forgiveness really means relinquishing the meaning we’ve made of it.
It means relinquishing our opinions, our judgments, our interpretation.
We say, “I forgive,” but we’re not actually relinquishing the interpretation and the meaning that we’ve made of it. And that’s why it feels so hard. That’s the whole thing in a nutshell.
What Unforgiveness Actually Is
Unforgiveness is treasuring those judgments. It’s treasuring the interpretation and the meaning that we’ve made of it.
And when we’re in unforgiveness like that – when we’re in the guilt, blame, shame, regret and resentments – that whirlpool of negativity is so debilitating. For me, it was paralyzing.
There Is a Way Through
The good news is we don’t have to stay stuck in that whirlpool. A Course in Miracles tells us very clearly at the end of Chapter 5 that there’s a way out. It’s what I call the correction of all the consequences and the release.
We can give all the consequences to the Holy Spirit for correction. We can actually be free.
We don’t have to figure out HOW to release those old meanings. We just have to be willing to let them go.
This is exactly what we practice together in my Masterful Living Program – learning to truly relinquish the meanings we’ve made, not just say the words “I forgive” over and over while still clinging to the pain.
And in my FREE Forgiveness Workshops, we do this work together in a sacred, safe space. Because nobody should have to carry this alone.
If it still hurts, the forgiveness isn’t complete. And that’s okay. We can do this together!
NEW ACIM PODCAST EPISODE: All Hatred is Self-Hatred What if the thing you’re most afraid of isn’t pain, loss, or suffering?
In this episode, I turn to one of the most startling passages in A Course in Miracles – Chapter 13: The Fear of Redemption – and what I found there is not what I expected. With so much hatred, division, and disinformation swirling in the world right now, I share a raw and honest post I wrote about my own experience with rage – and the connection I’ve discovered between self-hatred and everything we see playing out around us.
I explore a line from the ACIM Text explaining that we’re not actually afraid of what we think we’re afraid of. Something much deeper – and much more beautiful – is what we’re really running from.
I also share the single moment in my mid-twenties that changed everything for me – one sentence I heard myself say to myself.
If you’ve been feeling the weight of the world, come join me. There’s a way through – and it might surprise you.
