A friend called me up recently, upset about a phone message from a family member who was angry with them for not wanting to go on vacation together. My friend felt attacked. Understandable.
I heard them out, let them process that feeling. Then I asked: “Why do you think they’re attacking you? What’s that really about?”
They instantly knew. Oh – they miss me. They’d like to have more time with me. Their personality feels so vulnerable that the only way they can handle it is to attack.
What they’re really saying is: “I miss you. I’d like to be with you. I don’t know how to tell you, so I’m just going to yell at you and make you wrong instead.”
That’s how people do it all the time. Just because someone is a grownup with children of their own doesn’t mean they can’t be just as vulnerable as a three-year-old child who’s crying and crying, wanting to be picked up and comforted.
Once my friend saw it – “Oh, this is their cry for Love, their cry for connection” – they didn’t feel triggered anymore. Didn’t feel angry anymore. Didn’t want to retaliate anymore. Didn’t want to be right anymore.
They just wanted to be kind and appreciate the vulnerability being expressed as anger.
Once they saw what was really going on, they didn’t need to attack anymore. They didn’t want to. It wasn’t interesting anymore.
A Course in Miracles tells us we’re here only to be truly helpful.
When we realize that, this is how we start to dissolve the shame and resolve it FOREVER.
Isn’t it beautiful to be able to hear the cry for Love in somebody and open our heart to them?
To answer that cry for Love with Love instead of anger and blame?
It’s amazing. Absolutely amazing. It’s so gratifying.
The one who seems to be triggering us is actually doing us a favor. When those beliefs get triggered, that’s a healing opportunity. We can squeeze every last bit of healing out of those trigger moments so we don’t have to keep going through the same ones.
In my Masterful Living Program, we practice hearing the cry for Love behind every attack – and becoming a healing presence instead of joining in the battle.
And in my FREE Forgiveness Workshops, we learn the tools that make it possible – my next workshop is on Friday, April 17 – all FREE for you! Click here to learn more now.
Prayer Power Classes are SO GOOD! – There’s so much more available to us than struggle, and prayer can help you access it faster than you think. In these four online Prayer Power classes, we’ll strengthen your faith, deepen your spiritual practice, and help you remember how to partner UP with Spirit for healing, guidance, and true inner peace. We begin Monday, April 6th, and this is a beautiful moment to claim your place and receive the support that is already yours. Join me and let’s open the door to your blessing together. Click here to learn more.
New ACIM PODCAST EPISODE: Anger Was My Favorite Emotion What if every time you blamed someone, you were actually locking in the very pain you wanted to escape? In this episode, I explore Chapter 7, Section 8 of A Course in Miracles – “The Unbelievable Belief” – and unpack a fundamental law of the mind: without projection, there can be no anger; without extension, there can be no love. I confess that anger used to be my favorite emotion – and I explain how I came to see that projection is always an expression of fear. I also share why taking total responsibility – with zero blame – is the counterintuitive way out of suffering. The conflict isn’t out there in the world. It’s in here, in how we see. And that’s actually good news – because we can change our mind. We’re doing this together.
