We just came into a new moon yesterday – and a solar eclipse came with it. It’s a most powerful time to make some lasting changes. It’s the perfect time to take stock and release what doesn’t serve, and replace it with something that does.

In Spirit, we’re all one, and in many ways, as individuals we’re the same too. I’ve noticed that I’m an entrepreneur and sharing is my “thing.” I call spiritual entrepreneurs “Light-preneurs.” Day after day, I ask Spirit “what can I do to be more helpful.” I get answers every day. Much of the time it has to do with freeing my own heart and mind.

For so, so long I resisted following my guidance. I was so reluctant to take even the most basic steps I knew to do. And that’s why I focus almost my entire energy now on supporting people who feel stuck playing small, living in the shadow, NOT following their guidance, feeling sick, and tired and who have a deep yearning.

That was me: deep yearning, strong resistance.

It’s such a relief now to be able to really listen and follow. SUCH a relief. It’s like the difference between living in a small dirty and smoky room and living in the wide open spaces, the mountains covered with green and fields of flowers on a beautiful day.

As I write this, I can feel the sense-memory in my body, the feeling of tightness and despair.

I so often felt like I was under siege, but I didn’t realize it was coming from inside me.

One of the things that was a huge part of that feeling of reluctance and resistance, the playing small, was my battle with Self-sabotage in the form of self-medication.

We all are aware of the sense of there being two selves. A Higher Holy Spirit Self and a lower, selfish, small self. I used to feel like they were in a constant battle. The easiest way for the small self to win was to decide to self-medicate.

When I’d self-medicate with food, alcohol, cigarettes, television, or talking on the phone excessively, it was as if I had made a decision to get on the PAIN TRAIN and ride it to the end – which was me falling into exhaustion, collapsing or passing out from excess.

It was as though I had to go all the way to actually hurting myself before I could stop.

Doing this thousands of times over the course of years, I learned a lot. It was a very extensive study of self-sabotage and self-medication. I was the lab rat.

For years it felt demoralizing. I did my self-medication mostly in private, alone and ashamed because it didn’t feel very spiritual.

I felt so ashamed that I didn’t have more discipline.

When I did have more discipline I’d choose to self-medicate with over-working, exercising or volunteering. I didn’t feel ashamed when I went that route, but it still was still choosing to play small and live in a stuck place, resisting my natural spiritual growth.

The purpose of self-sabotage and self-medication is to slow down our spiritual growth and awakening.

It does a really good job, but let’s not be fooled by it anymore.

Making a decision to do something different is the way out of the hell that is a habit of self-medication. I know this because that’s where I started.

I decided to stop self-medicating sooooooo many times without success. It didn’t work for me. I just felt more and more and MORE like a failure!

What worked for me was to decide to focus on simply making a little bit more loving choices. I decided to actually look at what was going on inside me without judging it, with compassion and kindness. That changed things for me.

Why? Because Love is compassion and understanding. And Love is ALWAYS healing. Actual Love is always healing. It helps return us to our natural state of mind which is already perfect.

Love is our healer.
I AM choosing Love.

And that’s why I am offering this gift of a 5 day challenge to look at what is really going on with ourselves, self-medication, self-sabotage and our spiritual growth and development. It’s my gift to you. Please come and participate – it’s the perfect time for us to ride that new moon solar eclipse energy into lasting change.

I’ll be inviting you to do some daily inner work with me – and it’s no cost, because I don’t wish to have anything get in the way of you activating your willingness to stop playing small, and deciding to let Love be the healer.

Let’s let the Higher Holy Spirit Self do the heavy lifting of figuring out HOW the healing will happen. Let’s ALLOW the healing.

Be in it, to win it and we’ll do it together! A tiny bit of willingness is all that’s required.