Have you ever noticed that after a day of complaining, judging, or criticizing others, you end up feeling terrible about yourself?

There’s a spiritual law at work here that most people don’t recognize:

When we attack others, shame and guilt come boomeranging right back to us.

Here’s why this happens: Deep in our soul, we have an inextricable commitment to truth, beauty, love, and unity – the very essence of God’s love. We might think we’ve forgotten this commitment, but it’s always there, woven into our very being.

So when we give ourselves permission to attack others through judgment, criticism, or complaint, that soul-level commitment gets violated. The result? We feel inadequate, we feel like a failure, consumed by guilt and shame. We might not even connect these feelings to our earlier attacks on others, but the boomerang effect is always operating.

The critical key to eliminating recurring guilt and shame is to stop attacking – and when we catch ourselves attacking, to interrupt that pattern immediately.

Maybe you’ve been on a rant for an hour, a day, or even longer. It doesn’t matter. The moment you catch yourself, you can turn and go the other way. When you do, the guilt and shame will fall right off of you.

I learned this by developing the habit of recognizing when I’m not at peace. That “sticky icky” feeling is my alarm clock – a signal that I’ve decided wrongly and need to course-correct.

A Course in Miracles tells us, “I must have decided wrongly because I am not at peace.”

Here’s the beautiful truth: Everyone who seems to be attacking you is actually crying out for love.

When someone criticizes or judges you, they’re really saying “I miss you, I need connection, I feel vulnerable and don’t know how to express it.”

When we can hear the cry for love underneath the attack, we stop wanting to retaliate. We become truly helpful instead. And in that moment, both people are healed.

It’s our destiny to be a healing presence in this world.  Let’s not delay one more day!