My heart constricts just thinking about this pattern I used to feel in myself
Wishing other people would feel guilty. Wishing they’d feel blamed for how they treated me. Using my suffering as a weapon to punish them.
A Course in Miracles exposes this game: “Wish not to make yourself a living symbol of his guilt, for you will not escape the death you made for him.”
The Suffering Strategy.
I see people do this—maybe you’ve done it too. We hold our pain like a trophy, displaying it so others will feel guilty. “Look what you did to me. Look how I suffer because of you.”
Some people even harm themselves to punish others. It’s an epic mistake.
But here’s what we don’t realize: When we’re seeking revenge through our suffering, we’re living in such a low vibration.
And like attracts like. We’ll attract more evidence of our righteousness, more reasons to suffer, more proof of others’ guilt. Ugh.
The Hidden Block
This is one of the ways we play small and live in lack and limitation. We think we’re blocked by something outside ourselves, but we’re the ones standing in our own way. Sigh.
“A sick and suffering you but represents your brother’s guilt,” the Course says. We use our illness, our pain, our struggle as witnesses to someone else’s wrongdoing.
Freedom Is Possible
No matter how deep this pattern feels—even if you’re 85 and have been doing it since you were 2—the moment you decide there must be a better way, healing begins.
The Higher Holy Spirit Self knows the way. And the way is doable, reachable, and ours. We are worthy of it. You are worthy of it.
I used to think I couldn’t make spiritual progress because I was fundamentally flawed. But the truth was, I was too busy making others feel guilty to experience my own innocence.
In my Masterful Living Program we release these patterns permanently. Because forgiveness is the great liberator. It offers everything we want—everything, everything, everything.
Victim consciousness keeps us playing very, very small.
We weren’t created to be attacked. We were created to be loved.
Isn’t it time for us to stop settling for less than Love?
If you’re still upset about your relationship with your mother or daughter, you haven’t fully forgiven—and that’s not your fault. Saturday, November 15th at 3 PM Eastern, join me for a powerful 2.5-hour Deep Dive Workshop Healing Mother Daughter Wounds, a Deep Dive Workshop. Whether your mother or daughter is living or gone, speaking to you or estranged, these tools work because all minds are joined. Your healing becomes her healing. Bring your willingness, and I’ll bring the tools that transform decades of pain into peace. Register now—your breakthrough is waiting.
Masterful Living Program 2026 – Registration is open!
The sooner you register the more bonuses you get! Click here now to learn more.
LATEST ACIM PODCAST EPISODE: In this episode, Why You Can’t Find Love (Until You Face This), I dive deep into how special hate relationships—yes, even those people you “just don’t like”—are blocking you from knowing what love really means, and how we try to offset this hatred with special love relationships that only mask the problem instead of healing it. I share my own transformation from dreading holidays and my Thanksgiving-time birthday to genuinely looking forward to them, showing how this work really changes everything. With just two months left in this 9-year cycle before 2026 begins, I’m inviting us to look directly at these relationships because that’s where freedom lies—not in seeking love outside ourselves, but in finding and clearing all the barriers we’ve built against the love that we already are.
